Friday, June 5, 2020

What We Do To Ourselves



You do not possess the power to choose how people treat you. It's not in your power to control the way people experience whatever you say. It's not in your power to make anyone into a different kind of human being--one more to your liking or preference. Yes, it's natural to wish people were more like you, acted as you choose to and treat others how you choose to treat others, but unfortunately they're not you and you're not them.  What others may choose to do to us is not in our power to change, we need only concern ourselves with what we do to ourselves with what they do to us... THIS IS OUR POWER.  

You can give your power away by choosing to react to others OR keep your power by choosing only to respond to what others do to you. One gives power to you (I won't tell you what to do), one takes power from you (I will only tell you what you won't do to me).  In psychology we learn and teach that reaction is a survival-oriented behavior, thought process based on some level a defense mechanism.  A response to something comes more slowly. It's based on information from both the conscious mind and unconscious mind. Reaction and response do look alike but they couldn't be any more different.  When we react we are in survival mode, usually end up in regret because the behavior doesn't match the situation and we are our less than stellar self. Reaction comes from the unconscious mind and it's entire library of beliefs, prejudices, biases, fears, and limiting decisions. It's only goal is your survival, a "kill them so you can live" behavior.  Learning to be a responder and not a reactor requires work and spending time delving into your unconscious thought processes built around how you desire to survive versus survival. You must do the work in order to let go of limiting beliefs ( I only live IF they die), restrictive (they have to do this) and constrictive assumptions (because they're not this they're that) built on misinformation, and negative emotions that no longer serve you well. Truth of the matter is we seldom indulge in the luxury of solid, consecutive thought. We desperately need to start.


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