Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Learning to LOVE WELL

Let love be your greatest aim” (1 Corinthians 14:1)

Love is a choice. 
Love, real love is not "fallen into. " Mere feelings  do not constitute love, at least not the sum total of what love really is because you can act your way into feeling for something or someone, but it is extremely difficult to feel your way into acting on behalf of that something or someone apart from commitment, trust and faith. Why is that? Feelings wane, they pitch high and drop low based on occurrences when the relationship is based on simply feeling. Real love is not just an emotion but acts and does the loving thing, even when someone is unresponsive or undeserving.

Love acts.
“The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Galatians 5:6). Few have the faith required to love the unlovable partially because people today are accustomed to thinking of love as a feeling, but that is not necessarily the case with real love.  Real love ACTS even when it doesn't FEEL LIKE IT. Real love is about BEING, not just FEELING. Few have taken the time to learn what  real love acts like, what real love does or does not do. We only think we know how to love. We imitate the love we've seen in our family of origin or in relationships we see on TV or hear in songs.  The dismal success rate of healthy relationships (not just staying together relationships but improving, growing and thriving healthy relationships) tells us that the love we ascribe to today does not ACT LIKE LOVE.  How does love act? 1 Corinthians 13 :1-8 gives us the love acts like list:
1, Love is patient.
2. Love is kind.
3. Love does not envy.
4. Love does not boast.
5. Love  is not proud.
6. Love does not dishonor others.
7. Love is not self-seeking,
8. Love is not easily angered.
9. Love keeps no record of wrongs.
10. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
11. Love always protects,
12. Love always trusts,
13. Love always hopes,
14. Love always perseveres.
15. Love never fails.

Love Never Fails.
If this is true, and it is, I submit to you the opposite is just as true... if it fails,  it wasn't love. When I was unmarried, I gave up defending my unmarried state with all kinds of excuses and instead committed myself to learning to love. I realized and accepted 7 years ago that I did not know how to love and committed to a study of love, not just the word but what it means in action. I prayed to learn to love in a way that assures the person I love that they're loved. I learned to properly describe love and how to properly demonstrate love. I studied the different kinds of love by studying the Greek words describing Love--Agapeo: Unconditional love; the love of God in the renewed mind in manifestation; Phileo: Love between friends; Eros: The sense of being in love; romantic love; and Storge: Love of family; Parent/child, siblings, cousins, etc. In a very close family, agape is felt as well.

Learning to love as God says love gives such blessings in return. I opened my heart and mind to learning to love myself well first, and then I learned to love others better. I am still a work in progress but am happily married and more in love with my husband daily. I also have evidence of loving well throughout my life with my close family and friends.

Beloved, I'm praying you learn to love well and am praying with and for you.

Resources to Help:

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2017 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2017rightwordsbycheryl©. Follow me on LinkedIn :www.linkedin.com/in/cherylcarr2014; Facebook : Dr-Cheryl; Twitter: iamdrcheryllanier and Dr-Cheryl; Instagram-iamdrcheryllanier.