Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Learning to LOVE WELL






Let love be your greatest aim” (1 Corinthians 14:1)

Love is a choice. 
Love, real love is not "fallen into. " Mere feelings  do not constitute love, at least not the sum total of what love really is because you can act your way into feeling for something or someone, but it is extremely difficult to feel your way into acting on behalf of that something or someone apart from commitment, trust and faith. Why is that? Feelings wane, they pitch high and drop low based on occurrences when the relationship is based on simply feeling. Real love is not just an emotion but acts and does the loving thing, even when someone is unresponsive or undeserving.

Love acts.
“The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Galatians 5:6). Few have the faith required to love the unlovable partially because people today are accustomed to thinking of love as a feeling, but that is not necessarily the case with real love.  Real love ACTS even when it doesn't FEEL LIKE IT. Real love is about BEING, not just FEELING. Few have taken the time to learn what  real love acts like, what real love does or does not do. We only think we know how to love. We imitate the love we've seen in our family of origin or in relationships we see on TV or hear in songs.  The dismal success rate of healthy relationships (not just staying together relationships but improving, growing and thriving healthy relationships) tells us that the love we ascribe to today does not ACT LIKE LOVE.  How does love act? 1 Corinthians 13 :1-8 gives us the love acts like list:
1, Love is patient.
2. Love is kind.
3. Love does not envy.
4. Love does not boast.
5. Love  is not proud.
6. Love does not dishonor others.
7. Love is not self-seeking,
8. Love is not easily angered.
9. Love keeps no record of wrongs.
10. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
11. Love always protects,
12. Love always trusts,
13. Love always hopes,
14. Love always perseveres.
15. Love never fails.

Love Never Fails.
If this is true, and it is, I submit to you the opposite is just as true... if it fails,  it wasn't love. When I was unmarried, I gave up defending my unmarried state with all kinds of excuses and instead committed myself to learning to love. I realized and accepted 7 years ago that I did not know how to love and committed to a study of love, not just the word but what it means in action. I prayed to learn to love in a way that assures the person I love that they're loved. I learned to properly describe love and how to properly demonstrate love. I studied the different kinds of love by studying the Greek words describing Love--Agapeo: Unconditional love; the love of God in the renewed mind in manifestation; Phileo: Love between friends; Eros: The sense of being in love; romantic love; and Storge: Love of family; Parent/child, siblings, cousins, etc. In a very close family, agape is felt as well.

Learning to love as God says love gives such blessings in return. I opened my heart and mind to learning to love myself well first, and then I learned to love others better. I am still a work in progress but am happily married and more in love with my husband daily. I also have evidence of loving well throughout my life with my close family and friends.

Beloved, I'm praying you learn to love well and am praying with and for you.


Resources to Help:
http://pastorrick.com/series/40-days-of-love
http://gods-word-first.org/index.html

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2017 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2017rightwordsbycheryl©. Follow me on LinkedIn :www.linkedin.com/in/cherylcarr2014; Facebook : Dr-Cheryl; Twitter: iamdrcheryllanier and Dr-Cheryl; Instagram-iamdrcheryllanier.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Special Edition-Days 33-39 of our 40 Day Fast & Focus- "TWO EARS, ONE MOUTH."


When do you just listen?


Listening is one of the most powerful things we humans can do. It is so powerful to listen to others. It's easier on us to speak than it is to listen but that's why were issued two of what we need to use most and one of what we need to use less. We could cut our words in half and never miss the ones we don't speak. they do not add value to our lives having said them, nor to the listener. 

Application: THE ART OF LISTENING

1. Do not listen to reply. The gift of language is awesome. But, it's one that we choose to present to ourselves way more than we give to others the gift of our silence. Listen to hear, really hear what's being said. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.'

2. Cut your words in half.  Humans, being social animals, are programmed to use communication as a vital tool to survive and thrive. Science and research tells us that  people spend 60% of their conversations talking about themselves, 80% when chatting on social media. The reason, researchers found, was that it just feels good. Proverbs 10: 19 tells us plainly, when words are many sin is present. Sin is not ended by multiplying words, sin is ended by restricting them. So, it's best to shhhh. Just shhh. 

Beloved I am praying with and for you.

Resources to Help:
1. http://www.amazon.com/The-Art-Listening-Erich-Fromm/dp/0826411320
2. http://www.amazon.com/Thats-Not-What-I-Meant/dp/0345379721
3. http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/the-biggest-communication-problem-not-listen-understand.html
4. http://www.fastcompany.com/3047285/know-it-all/the-science-of-why-we-talk-too-much-and-how-to-shut-up



Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©
Follow me on LinkedIn :www.linkedin.com/in/cherylcarr2014; Facebook : Dr-Cheryl; Twitter: iamdrcheryllanier and Dr-Cheryl; Instagram-iamcheryllanier.

Friday, January 29, 2016

Day 32 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus "SMALL THINGS." Let's make every single day of 2016 ridiculously amazing!


Small things tell you big things.

I live in Texas so believe me when I say, little or small goes under appreciated. We're into BIG EVERYTHING. Big hair, big homes, big trucks, big miracles. Go big or stay home is a favorite cliche' thrown around but can I tell you as someone who likes detail and structure, I've learned small things should be valued way more than we do. Even an oak tree begins as a small seed. Entire gardens grow from one small seed planted and the hard work that tending to it's growth demands. Each small breath you breathe gives your entire body LIFE.

Application: DON'T DESPISE SMALL THINGS

1. Pursue the goal of finding God's grace at work in everyday life.  Isn't it disappointing when an act of love done by you is seen as no big thing and overlooked by it's recipient? I believe we do that to God when we gloss over the smaller, everyday granting of His beautiful grace because we're waiting on the bigger, better miracle. I have made it my goal to look at the smallest of things and listen to the smallest of whispers as similar as possible as I do with the huge things and undeniable miracles He gifts to me. I've learned God rewards this diligence (Hebrews 11:6) with so many every single day miracles that I remain awestruck, surprised and delighted.

2. Listen eagerly to the little stuff.  Attune your ear to hear the still small voice whispering in your life. In my life I've found God never shouts at me...He doesn't have to. Instead, my situations and circumstances of life begin as a dull roar and crescendo into what cannot be ignored. I'm learning to stop, look and listen to things when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff. From little things, big things grow.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.


Resources to Help:
1. http://www.amazon.com/Small-Things-Big-Inspiring-Everyday/dp/1596381450
2. Memorize and recite out loud this scripture: Zechariah 4:10-Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.”


Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©
Follow me on LinkedIn :www.linkedin.com/in/cherylcarr2014; Facebook : Dr-Cheryl; Twitter: iamdrcheryllanier and Dr-Cheryl; Instagram-iamcheryllanier.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Here is Day 31 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus "CREATE BEAUTY." Let's make every single day of 2016 ridiculously amazing!


Beauty is happiness.

Beauty has been described so many ways, but one of my favorites is that beauty, true beauty is whatsoever is aesthetically and emotionally pleasing, and pleasant to the senses and that beauty is happiness indeed. Describing someone or something as beautiful means their distinct and remarkable attractiveness paints a picture or concept that penetrates and lingers in our minds. Beauty reaches into our souls and makes us feel awakened, alive and blessed. That's why it's important to know if your daily existence seeks to create beauty or ugliness in the world. Do you daily see beauty? Do you daily seek to create it even if you don't see it? Does your presence bring beauty into an environment or remove it?


Application: CREATE BEAUTY EVERYWHERE YOU GO

1. Bring delight and wonder into the world.  Commit to be a conduit of beauty...not necessarily the outward appearance, but that is included. Those who seek to create beauty attract others who appreciate their effort (what you sow, grows I like to say). We are all different in terms of what we experience as beautiful and how we respond to that beauty. Kindness, pleasant attitudes and conduct that is kind creates beauty. Your countenance or face will reflect whatever is inside. Sour faced people abound. Don't be one of them. If anyone lacks a smile, give them yours!

2. Creating beauty is not gender specific.  Creating beauty is an art. That art knows no gender. Do not mistakenly believe as a female you're able to create beauty and that anyone male cannot unless their effeminate. Beauty can soothe pain, comfort sorrow, distract from illness, or inspire hope and virtue in those who experience it. In these ways, it is tremendously powerful, and those who create beauty exercise this power. Creating beauty depends on the character of a human being, not a gender so we should ALL seek to create and appreciate beauty. We ALL need more beauty in our lives. The world has enough ugliness.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.

Resources to Help:
1.http://rickwarren.org/devotional/english/everything-is-beautiful-for-its-time
2. http://www1.cbn.com/700club/joyce-meyer-shares-12-keys-looking-and-feeling-great
3. http://thinksimplenow.com/calmness/how-to-find-beauty-in-life/comment-page-1/


Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©
Follow me on LinkedIn :www.linkedin.com/in/cherylcarr2014; Facebook : Dr-Cheryl; Twitter: iamdrcheryllanier and Dr-Cheryl; Instagram-iamcheryllanier.


Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Day 29 and 30 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus: "COULD'VE, SHOULD'VE, WOULD'VE."




How much of your life is vain regret?

Regrets are vain when character is weak. Truth is, vain people are needlessly shouldered with shame and inadequacy. Fact is, every time you hear or use the word “should,” you are, in effect, saying that you are “wrong” and “not good enough.” The self-beat and feeling of “being wrong” because your desires didn't come to pass are wasted energy and an outright lie.

Application: Stop Should-ing and Could-ing

1. Stop means to cease all motion.  Stop fearing being weak. Stop fearing failure.  We are all weak sometimes. Nobody perfectly does anything all the time so quit putting that kind of pressure on yourself. Your best is good enough, as long as it's your best. Respect and own your own life choices. Realize that is exclusively your power and yours alone. Always ask and answer this question for your self..."why did I choose to do, or not do that?"

2. Regrets are vain when circumstances are masterful. I have heard it said that in life, sooner or later, good inevitably unfolds good; and evil, sooner or later, inevitably unfolds misery. So, in life, it is wise ALWAYS to do the prudent, the thoughtful, the self-restrained, the good, and from there in spite of whatever comes, you master your circumstances and may never know the misery of vain regrets.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.


Resources to help:
1. http://rickwarren.org/devotional/english/don-t-live-with-guilt-regret-or-shame_870
2. http://rickwarren.org/devotional/english/what-mistakes-regrets-do-you-need-to-hand-over-to-god
3. http://tinybuddha.com/blog/dealing-with-regret-8-ways-to-benefit-and-move-forward/
4. Memorize and recite: 1 Corinthians 6:12-"I have the right to do anything," you say--but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"--but not everything is constructive.

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©
Follow me on LinkedIn :www.linkedin.com/in/cherylcarr2014; Facebook : Dr-Cheryl; Twitter: iamdrcheryllanier and Dr-Cheryl; Instagram-iamcheryllanier.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Day 28 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus -"SURPRISE!"


Do you like surprises?

It may surprise you to know I don't. I like structure. I like routine and statistically predictable. It's the way I'm wired and I'm perfectly OK with that. In my life I've learned and finally accept that God is into surprises and so I'd best keep learning to be too. God loves to do things in an unpredictable fashion. He loves the marvel and wonder of surprise. He loves faith-building, character depending, deepening dependency of waiting and trusting. No human being on earth can top God's eleventh hour come through's and mouth dropping "oh no he dint."

Application: Stay prepared to be SURPRISED!

1. Settle expectations.  If you expect consistency at all times, you're setting yourself up to be disappointed. I've found it's best to pay attention to the signals in my life that my expectations need to settle into inconsistency. NEVER expect a situation, person and least of all God to do as you plan, according to your timeline and in a way that you expect and desire.

2. Deepen Dependency. Reliance on God is never a weakness. Love ‘always trusts’ with the wisdom and discernment earned from past experiences. God always provides. God always comes through. God will never play you. God always keeps His promises. Never be afraid to trust Him and the people He assigns to bless your life because God works through people and He knows how to make the best divine connections. Life is so peaceful completely dependent upon Him. Trust Him to surprise you in ways that will blow your mind.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.



Resources to help:
1. http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/1524-spirit/devotionals/by-love-transformed/8216-god-loves-to-surprise-us
2. http://odb.org/2008/05/15/surprise-me/

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©
Follow me on LinkedIn :www.linkedin.com/in/cherylcarr2014; Facebook : Dr-Cheryl; Twitter: iamdrcheryllanier and Dr-Cheryl; Instagram-iamcheryllanier.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Enjoy a CEENOTE Weekend Edition Days 26 & 27 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus: "LIFE IS FOR!"


What do you believe your life is for?

We start life off with great plans and dream of a life of great success. Not many of us sign up for a life of struggle and sacrifice. It's hard to understand why obstacles, failures and setbacks happen at all. But they do. Boy, do they ever. A harsh truth I've had to accept is that everything sucks, some of the time. Nothing is pleasurable or uplifting all of the time. So? A happier truth I've come to accept is that the reverse is also true, and this is where I like to focus and keep my happy thoughts centered on...nothing sucks all of the time. It all comes down to what sacrifices and struggles are you willing to endure to get past the inevitable rough patches of life? 

APPLICATION:  FIGHT!
1. Accomplishments do not come easy.  Resign yourself to this fact and this fight. Refuse to throw in the towel and settle for less. FIGHT! Affliction is a test. How bad do you want it? To achieve you have to keep a clear view of what you're fighting for. Make your dreams and life vision plain, and write it all down. Read and review it often. Hold onto an unconquerable resilience and ability to refocus, refocus, refocus. Remember...everything sucks, some of the time. And nothing sucks all of the time. So, suck it up buttercup. Put up your dukes. You'll take some blows but make sure you deliver some too. I am so blessed to have a man who's not only a supporter of my dreams, he inspires me to act on those dreams every single day. 

2. Delete Dream Thieves.  The fire of desire you burn with regarding the life you want and the dreams you have may face blatant opposition from the very friends and family you wide and starry eyed shared them with. It's harsh to realize those you wanted to support you very often will mock you, sabotage you and try to prevent you from achieving your dreams. Dream thieves work by placing obstacles of disapproval and discouragement in your way. The greatest tragedy of your life will not be if you don't achieve your dreams of success. No. The greatest tragedy will be if your achieving those dreams was stopped cold because you couldn't or wouldn't delete the dream thieves. Your desires and abilities were God-given. Dust them off. Begin again. Decide what your life is for and then manage that decision every single day. Your life was made for uncontrollable laughter, strange adventures and living your dreams. And that my friend, is a dazzling existence.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.

Resources to help:
1 http://purposedriven.com/books/pdlbook/
2.  http://www.christianbook.com/dream-thieves-overcoming-obstacles-fulfill-dreams/rick-      renner/9780977945931/pd/945931