Friday, December 2, 2022

4 Ways Introverts Can Enjoy More Social Confidence

 4 Ways Introverts Can Enjoy More Social Confidence



We used the word "enjoy" in that title for a reason. Social confidence is important for building relationships. This is true of the introvert, the extrovert, and the average person who is somewhere between those two personality extremes.


You can enjoy a much more successful career with powerful social skills. Your personal relationships benefit. A person who's confident when interacting with others has high self-esteem. They enjoy a powerful self-belief that they are capable of in social situations.


That's not to say that introverts don't have wonderful and rewarding lives. They simply have a view of their best life that's different from an extroverted person.


By the way, it's often believed that introverts despise interacting with people. That's rarely the case. It's simply that they would prefer to spend more time on their own. That's how they recharge their batteries. The extroverted person does the same thing by spending a lot of time with others. Each of these individuals is different in many ways, and no one approach is worse or better than the other.


That having been said, introverts often want better skills at socializing. They understand they can improve some aspect of their life if they had more confidence when dealing with people. If this sounds like you, we're here to help. Here are 4 ways that have been proven to help introverts build confidence in social settings.


1 – Don't Overdo It


Introverts can enjoy socializing just as much as introverts. In many cases they do. The difference is that the introverted person loses physical and mental energy from socializing too frequently or for too long. 


If you want to perform better in social situations, limit your exposure. Pick your battles. Don't try to drink from a fire hydrant. Plan short periods of time where you're going to expand your social skills over the next week or month. When you feel your energy starts to wane, return home or wherever it is you feel most comfortable recharging your batteries.


2 – Prepare Ahead of Time


You might be an introvert that doesn't have much experience interacting with others. That's okay. You can learn how to socialize. Do some prep work before you know you're going to deal with others. 


Think of the conversation beforehand. What's the environment going to be like? Who's going to be there? This type of homework can help you succeed in social situations and become more confident and capable.


3 – Remember … Rome Wasn't Built in a Day


The old saying that it took a long time to build one of the greatest civilizations in human history is important here. Big accomplishments don't happen overnight. If you are extremely introverted, work on one step at a time to become more of a social animal. 


Maybe the first thing you want to do is get comfortable leaving your house. You might leave your home and walk 100 feet down the road and then return home. If that's a big deal for you, give yourself a huge pat on the back!


You did great. Once you're comfortable leaving home, then strike up a conversation with a stranger. Take one small step at a time and before you know it you'll have walked a mile down the road to improving your social skills.


4 – Look at Rejection like a Successful Salesperson


The best salespeople get excited when they hear "No." They know that every rejection gets them closer to making their next sale. You can look at social rejection the same way. See the situation objectively. What can you learn? What did you do right? What did you do wrong? Take rejection or social failure as an opportunity to improve, you then move on.


Introverts aren't necessarily scared of people. They usually aren't. They just prefer to spend a minimal amount of time in the presence of others. If this is you, and you want to build your social confidence, the tips we just shared with you can help. They make you feel more comfortable when interacting with people. You'll also be proud of stepping out of your comfort zone.


Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl is written and distributed by Dr. Cheryl Carr LLC. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Carr. Copyright 2022 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Carr 2022 rightwordsbycheryl©
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Friday, June 5, 2020

What We Do To Ourselves



You do not possess the power to choose how people treat you. It's not in your power to control the way people experience whatever you say. It's not in your power to make anyone into a different kind of human being--one more to your liking or preference. Yes, it's natural to wish people were more like you, acted as you choose to and treat others how you choose to treat others, but unfortunately they're not you and you're not them.  What others may choose to do to us is not in our power to change, we need only concern ourselves with what we do to ourselves with what they do to us... THIS IS OUR POWER.  

You can give your power away by choosing to react to others OR keep your power by choosing only to respond to what others do to you. One gives power to you (I won't tell you what to do), one takes power from you (I will only tell you what you won't do to me).  In psychology we learn and teach that reaction is a survival-oriented behavior, thought process based on some level a defense mechanism.  A response to something comes more slowly. It's based on information from both the conscious mind and unconscious mind. Reaction and response do look alike but they couldn't be any more different.  When we react we are in survival mode, usually end up in regret because the behavior doesn't match the situation and we are our less than stellar self. Reaction comes from the unconscious mind and it's entire library of beliefs, prejudices, biases, fears, and limiting decisions. It's only goal is your survival, a "kill them so you can live" behavior.  Learning to be a responder and not a reactor requires work and spending time delving into your unconscious thought processes built around how you desire to survive versus survival. You must do the work in order to let go of limiting beliefs ( I only live IF they die), restrictive (they have to do this) and constrictive assumptions (because they're not this they're that) built on misinformation, and negative emotions that no longer serve you well. Truth of the matter is we seldom indulge in the luxury of solid, consecutive thought. We desperately need to start.


Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Carr. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Carr 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©
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Sunday, May 31, 2020

Anger Stimulus



Anger is a strong, uncomfortable emotion many have misconceptions regarding. Anger is a normal emotion. You are created to feel anger and it's okay. Anger motivates action. Once it motivates action, it is our choice how we express the prompting and it's so important to distinguish between anger, aggression, and hostility. Anger is a sense of emotion ranging from the standard reaction of mild irritation to an intense response of fury and rage and if it felt too intensely, frequently, expressed inappropriately and associated with extreme physical/mental strain on the individual is when it becomes problematic, leading to aggression that is often-violent behavior causing harm or injury to another person or property. Anger improperly felt/displayed causes improper hostility, an attitude of judgement that then motivates aggressive behavior against something or someone.  Our power of choice lies in between the stimulus and our response. Inviting anger as a visitor not a resident in our emotions will keep us from being uncontrolled, nasty, violent and messy in response to our outrage.

So, HOW do I feel anger and not sin (Ephesians 4:26)? Practice. Knowing yourself and making choices with your emotions instead of letting your emotions choose behavior for you. Learn your anger "spells" or time spent with the emotion of anger. There is always a lag point from the emotion of anger to the actions feeling anger produces. There are four essential signals of an anger-provoking event. These signs are divided into physical (physiological), cognitive (thought), emotional (feeling) and behavioral (act). Physical  means how your body responds to anger (e.g. increased heart rate, flushed face, hot feeling, chest tightness, and boiling sensation) and emotional cues, your attitude to anger (e.g. expressing fear, hurt, jealousy, disrespect), and cognitive signals indicate what you think in response to anger (e.g. conveying hostile self-talk, images of aggression and revenge).Behavioral cues are your reaction to anger (e.g. making fists clench, raise voice tone, and stare looking (mean mugging). Recognize and identify what, who, when you're angry and measure it by degrees of 1-10. 1 being slightly annoyed to 10 being capable of aggression and violence. When triggered activate your own individually monitored control plan:
1. Timeouts: several methods that work are relaxation,conversing with a friend (someone you trust) and the thought to stop- stop means cease all motion. STOP EVERYTHING in motion, which includes speaking/conversation, driving, thinking, just stop and self-soothe. It's important that you know yourself and your own individual aggression cycle (escalation-explosive-post-explosive phases).
2.  Preventive strategies: a regular exercise program, self soothing such as deep breathing, counting, positive affirmation phrases.  Personally, I've learned this works best for me to express and prevent feelings of anger. I exercise good habits and self control best by preventing trigger episodes of anger and tightly controlling whenever I find myself angry
3. Changing irrational beliefs by using the A-B-C-D model (activating system- realistically describe the event/trigger without fantastical thinking or exaggeration, believing system-what you will tell yourself/others about the event; consequence system-your self-talk about what will happen if you act from your emotions; disputing system-question the emotion, belief behind it and expectations of others and circumstances)
4. Self Awareness- Learning and knowing your own individual aggression cycle (escalation-explosive-post-explosive phases) will keep you from problematic responses to the emotion of anger and aids your developing the learned behavior of conflict resolution model to express anger with an assertive not reactive expression of anger.
Always question what makes you weak-willed, lacking self control.  Always explore the primary feelings beneath anger and learn to use all anger as a stimulus to POSITIVE ACTION/BEHAVIOR.


Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Carr. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Carr 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©
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Sunday, December 15, 2019

Finish 2019 Strong

In this economy one stream of income is insufficient.  Gone are the days of the 20 year employee at one company, employment is transient and project based. Companies off load staff to protect stockholders and top tier pay structures. You have to learn to maximize your earning capacity should you be on the receiving end of a corporate heave-ho. Happened to me so often that I will NEVER again allow one source of income to be my bill paying resource, as long as God gives me strength and presence of mind. You should aim for your 6-10 pm window to be a side hustle/empire building window at least 3-4 times a week.
No matter what you do full-time for a living, the internet affords  us all money-making conveniences. The proverbial world is at our fingertips, providing vast amounts of opportunity to earn 24/7. How? Glad you asked...To do so you must select a skill-set fitting method, deliver value, and solve problems.

If you're a breadwinner or secondary income earner for your household, I suggest you set a goal of increasing your income streams in 2020. In addition, set an income goal for this income stream. Because I'm a goal digger and goal meet oriented (not simply goal setting, I want to see you actually win/achieve, not waste efforts or "look" like you're winning) so I'm sharing some prospective 6-10pm, 3-4 times a week, at home side-hustles you can try to see where it gets you...you set the goal to try at least 2 if not more of these, ok?
1. Sell items (in 2017 I actually sold everything I owned except for some items of clothing/shoes)
2. Drive for delivery services (Favor, Postmate, Door Dash)
3. Deliver packages for Amazon
4. Copy write - sign up on LinkedIn
5. Technical write - sign up on Linked In

Just remember, being a long term employee for any company is going the way of the dinosaur.  Change your thinking. Be a problem solver and seller of your time and talents. Beloved I am praying with and for you!

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Carr. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Carr 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©
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Saturday, October 26, 2019

Created for Healthy Relationship

"Love can sustain you through the difficult times until you can get to a softer place together. Love is durable because it can weather a storm. Trust is fragile. ... when betrayal happens inside of a relationship, it will break trust into so many pieces that it's difficult to put them all back together again."
Relationships cannot stand without these 4 Pillars and sadly many relationships I observe are hobbled and weak without them. As for me,
I can love you from a long distance... I can ONLY TRUST you close up. That's EXACTLY why I cannot be with anyone I don't trust. Not personal. Not business. Not nothing without trust. Love can be walked into by choice, Trust can be earned and maintained. Respect and honor must be given as BEING respectable and honorable is displayed. The only relationship I want to be in at all HAS to HAVE these four pillars in place.


1 Peter 4:8: “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins." Ephesians 5:21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.



(Quote Credit: Dustin Campbell)

#wewerecreatedforhealthyrelationships #focused👀
#iwantahusbandandpartner👫
#love&trust #respect&honor #understanding&knowledge
#reallove♥️

References:
1. https://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/relationships/7-ways-to-transform-your-relationship-through-gods-design.aspx
2. http://www.daniellelaporte.com/thedesiremap/
3. Commit 30 Planner
 planner & goal-setting notebook makes 
Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Carr. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Carr 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©
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Sunday, December 30, 2018

Pourquoi

No resolutions. Only one thing is helpful in providing clarity, meaning and fulfillment for the next 365 days. Wouldn't you rather ask the right question(s) for goal meeting, not the same mundane goal setting? If the answer is yes, then ask yourself , "how do I want to feel all of 2019 and why do I want to feel that way?"

You can live in alignment with your purpose when you answer those 2 questions definitively.  First, reflect over how you felt in 2018. Then, design your vision board, your planner, time and energy management on obtaining that/those feeling(s),  with your reputation, your relationships, with prosperity, health, creativity, self-improvement, career,  and travel.

Do you know that how you feel about something or someone is more powerful than what you think about it or them? The problem with feelings is the difficulty in expressing meaningful words about those feelings. But learning how to best do that for you provides a huge benefit! The brain works best when you articulate feelings felt.  Here's a little neuroscience to help us better understand...the analytical part of your brain that helps you understand facts/reality, benefits and words/language is called the neocortex. The part of the brain that helps us with our behavior and decision-making is the middle section of the brain, the limbric system and it differs from the neocortex in that it has zero capacity for language which is why we struggle to explain our feelings. We must transfer our feelings to the neocortex part of our brain in order to articulate our feelings. This is a powerful exercise that when you do it you will be intentional in your decision making and behaviors. Beloved, I am praying for your 2019 to provide significant success and blessings without measure.


References:
1. https://www.technologyreview.com/s/528151/the-importance-of-feelings/
2. http://www.daniellelaporte.com/thedesiremap/
3. Commit 30 Planner
 planner & goal-setting notebook makes 
Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Carr. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Carr 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©
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Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Try Not to Try



"Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song. ~Konrad von Gesner"

Try not to try.

There is an effortlessness in gratitude and life that we should all aspire to. Research shows that gratitude has many benefits, but having a grateful attitude doesn’t come easily to everyone. 
Cognitive scientist are only now beginning to understand the power of spontaneity and why it is so essential for our well-being. When something is right, it truly is easier and much more effortless. BEING GRATEFUL IS RIGHT--- in all things, even if not for all things.  In fact, Chinese philosophers wrote extensively about an effortless way of being in the world, which they called wu-wei (ooo-way). New research reveals what’s happening in the brain when we’re in a state of wu-wei—why it makes us happy and effective and trustworthy. Effortlessness requires shutting the mind off and allowing the body to do its thing. It is very challenging to get the mind to let go of itself, and to stop trying, free fall into trust, be present and to know what comes goes, and what stays must be maintained. To cultivate behaviors and fruit bearing tendencies of wu-wei let go of the Western Culture ways of achieving goals through careful reasoning and conscious effort. Recent research suggests that many aspects of a satisfying life, like happiness and spontaneity, are best pursued indirectly. The older I get, the more I realize I do not want to spend most of my life preoccupied with effort, the importance of working, striving and trying, only to find the more I try hard to will things into manifesting, the more elusive they become. I'd rather let go of any rigidity, cease over-planning life which has been proven to limit happiness and success. I prefer to live life relaxed and flexible, pursuing whatever interests me, and feeling confident that it will work out---and it generally has.

APPLICATION: TRY NOT TO TRY
1.  Practice “body thinking."  This is a tacit, fast, and semiautomatic behavior that flows from the unconscious with little or no conscious interference. Stop yourself from any and every effort requiring pushing harder or moving faster. Relax. Slow down. Stop (which means to cease all motion). Accept that sometimes effort and striving are profoundly counterproductive. 
2. Practice effortless action. This is not dull inaction. Quite the contrary. Wu-wei is "not trying" or "no doing." It's the state of mind of a person who's optimally active and effective. Practice living in a state of effortless action. You will feel as if you're doing nothing, while you are creating proper and effective conduct, harmonious order, brilliance and beauty. For a person in wu-wei, proper and effective conduct follows automatically as if the body gives in to the seductive rhythm of a song.  The body, the emotions, and the mind become integrated. Being in wu-wei is relaxing and enjoyable in a deeply rewarding way that distinguishes it from cruder or more mundane pleasures. It's a state of BE-ing. 

Beloved, I am praying effortlessly with and for you.



Resources to Help:

1. https://www.organizedmotherhood.com/effortless-gratitude/
2. http://effortlesspeace.com/gratitude-quotes/
3. https://pageflutter.com/30-day-gratitude-challenge/



*Disclaimer
The information on this website is provided as a service to the public and offers general information only. It is not intended to be and should not be relied on as a substitute for specific medical or health advice.While every effort is taken to ensure the information is accurate,Dr. Cheryl Carr  makes no representations and gives no warranties that this information is correct, current, complete, reliable or suitable for any purpose.  We disclaim all responsibility and liability for any direct or indirect loss, damage, cost or expense whatsoever in the use of or reliance upon this information.This website may contain links to linked websites controlled or produced by other organizations.  The links are provided for convenience only and are not an endorsement of any products or services at those other websites, which also may not remain current or be maintained.We are not liable to you or anyone else if interference with or damage to your computer systems occurs or if you suffer any loss, cost or expense in connection with your use of this website or a linked website.


Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Carr. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Carr 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©
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