Special Edition-Days 33-39 of our 40 Day Fast & Focus- "TWO EARS, ONE MOUTH."

When do you just listen?

Listening is one of the most powerful things we humans can do. It is so powerful to listen to others. It's easier on us to speak than it is to listen but that's why were issued two of what we need to use most and one of what we need to use less. We could cut our words in half and never miss the ones we don't speak. they do not add value to our lives having said them, nor to the listener. 

Application: THE ART OF LISTENING

1. Do not listen to reply. The gift of language is awesome. But, it's one that we choose to present to ourselves way more than we give to others the gift of our silence. Listen to hear, really hear what's being said. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.'

2. Cut your words in half.  Humans, being social animals, are programmed to use communication as a vital tool to survive and thrive. Science and research tells us that  people spend 60% of their conversations talking about themselves, 80% when chatting on social media. The reason, researchers found, was that it just feels good. Proverbs 10: 19 tells us plainly, when words are many sin is present. Sin is not ended by multiplying words, sin is ended by restricting them. So, it's best to shhhh. Just shhh. 

Beloved I am praying with and for you.

Resources to Help:

1. http://www.amazon.com/The-Art-Listening-Erich-Fromm/dp/0826411320

2. http://www.amazon.com/Thats-Not-What-I-Meant/dp/0345379721

3. http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/the-biggest-communication-problem-not-listen-understand.html

4. http://www.fastcompany.com/3047285/know-it-all/the-science-of-why-we-talk-too-much-and-how-to-shut-up

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Day 32 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus "SMALL THINGS." Let's make every single day of 2016 ridiculously amazing!

Small things tell you big things.

I live in Texas so believe me when I say, little or small goes under appreciated. We're into BIG EVERYTHING. Big hair, big homes, big trucks, big miracles. Go big or stay home is a favorite cliche' thrown around but can I tell you as someone who likes detail and structure, I've learned small things should be valued way more than we do. Even an oak tree begins as a small seed. Entire gardens grow from one small seed planted and the hard work that tending to it's growth demands. Each small breath you breathe gives your entire body LIFE.

Application: DON'T DESPISE SMALL THINGS

1. Pursue the goal of finding God's grace at work in everyday life.  Isn't it disappointing when an act of love done by you is seen as no big thing and overlooked by it's recipient? I believe we do that to God when we gloss over the smaller, everyday granting of His beautiful grace because we're waiting on the bigger, better miracle. I have made it my goal to look at the smallest of things and listen to the smallest of whispers as similar as possible as I do with the huge things and undeniable miracles He gifts to me. I've learned God rewards this diligence (Hebrews 11:6) with so many every single day miracles that I remain awestruck, surprised and delighted.

2. Listen eagerly to the little stuff.  Attune your ear to hear the still small voice whispering in your life. In my life I've found God never shouts at me...He doesn't have to. Instead, my situations and circumstances of life begin as a dull roar and crescendo into what cannot be ignored. I'm learning to stop, look and listen to things when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff. From little things, big things grow.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.


Resources to Help:
1. http://www.amazon.com/Small-Things-Big-Inspiring-Everyday/dp/1596381450
2. Memorize and recite out loud this scripture: Zechariah 4:10-Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.”


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Here is Day 31 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus "CREATE BEAUTY." Let's make every single day of 2016 ridiculously amazing!

Beauty is happiness.

Beauty has been described so many ways, but one of my favorites is that beauty, true beauty is whatsoever is aesthetically and emotionally pleasing, and pleasant to the senses and that beauty is happiness indeed. Describing someone or something as beautiful means their distinct and remarkable attractiveness paints a picture or concept that penetrates and lingers in our minds. Beauty reaches into our souls and makes us feel awakened, alive and blessed. That's why it's important to know if your daily existence seeks to create beauty or ugliness in the world. Do you daily see beauty? Do you daily seek to create it even if you don't see it? Does your presence bring beauty into an environment or remove it?


Application: CREATE BEAUTY EVERYWHERE YOU GO

1. Bring delight and wonder into the world.  Commit to be a conduit of beauty...not necessarily the outward appearance, but that is included. Those who seek to create beauty attract others who appreciate their effort (what you sow, grows I like to say). We are all different in terms of what we experience as beautiful and how we respond to that beauty. Kindness, pleasant attitudes and conduct that is kind creates beauty. Your countenance or face will reflect whatever is inside. Sour faced people abound. Don't be one of them. If anyone lacks a smile, give them yours!

2. Creating beauty is not gender specific.  Creating beauty is an art. That art knows no gender. Do not mistakenly believe as a female you're able to create beauty and that anyone male cannot unless their effeminate. Beauty can soothe pain, comfort sorrow, distract from illness, or inspire hope and virtue in those who experience it. In these ways, it is tremendously powerful, and those who create beauty exercise this power. Creating beauty depends on the character of a human being, not a gender so we should ALL seek to create and appreciate beauty. We ALL need more beauty in our lives. The world has enough ugliness.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.

Resources to Help:
1.http://rickwarren.org/devotional/english/everything-is-beautiful-for-its-time
2. http://www1.cbn.com/700club/joyce-meyer-shares-12-keys-looking-and-feeling-great
3. http://thinksimplenow.com/calmness/how-to-find-beauty-in-life/comment-page-1/


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Day 29 and 30 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus: "COULD'VE, SHOULD'VE, WOULD'VE."

How much of your life is vain regret?

Regrets are vain when character is weak. Truth is, vain people are needlessly shouldered with shame and inadequacy. Fact is, every time you hear or use the word “should,” you are, in effect, saying that you are “wrong” and “not good enough.” The self-beat and feeling of “being wrong” because your desires didn't come to pass are wasted energy and an outright lie.

Application: Stop Should-ing and Could-ing

1. Stop means to cease all motion.  Stop fearing being weak. Stop fearing failure.  We are all weak sometimes. Nobody perfectly does anything all the time so quit putting that kind of pressure on yourself. Your best is good enough, as long as it's your best. Respect and own your own life choices. Realize that is exclusively your power and yours alone. Always ask and answer this question for your self..."why did I choose to do, or not do that?"

2. Regrets are vain when circumstances are masterful. I have heard it said that in life, sooner or later, good inevitably unfolds good; and evil, sooner or later, inevitably unfolds misery. So, in life, it is wise ALWAYS to do the prudent, the thoughtful, the self-restrained, the good, and from there in spite of whatever comes, you master your circumstances and may never know the misery of vain regrets.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.

Resources to help:

1. http://rickwarren.org/devotional/english/don-t-live-with-guilt-regret-or-shame_870

2. http://rickwarren.org/devotional/english/what-mistakes-regrets-do-you-need-to-hand-over-to-god

3. http://tinybuddha.com/blog/dealing-with-regret-8-ways-to-benefit-and-move-forward/

4. Memorize and recite: 1 Corinthians 6:12-"I have the right to do anything," you say--but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"--but not everything is constructive.

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Day 28 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus -"SURPRISE!"

Do you like surprises?

It may surprise you to know I don't. I like structure. I like routine and statistically predictable. It's the way I'm wired and I'm perfectly OK with that. In my life I've learned and finally accept that God is into surprises and so I'd best keep learning to be too. God loves to do things in an unpredictable fashion. He loves the marvel and wonder of surprise. He loves faith-building, character depending, deepening dependency of waiting and trusting. No human being on earth can top God's eleventh hour come through's and mouth dropping "oh no he dint."

Application: Stay prepared to be SURPRISED!

1. Settle expectations.  If you expect consistency at all times, you're setting yourself up to be disappointed. I've found it's best to pay attention to the signals in my life that my expectations need to settle into inconsistency. NEVER expect a situation, person and least of all God to do as you plan, according to your timeline and in a way that you expect and desire.

2. Deepen Dependency. Reliance on God is never a weakness. Love ‘always trusts’ with the wisdom and discernment earned from past experiences. God always provides. God always comes through. God will never play you. God always keeps His promises. Never be afraid to trust Him and the people He assigns to bless your life because God works through people and He knows how to make the best divine connections. Life is so peaceful completely dependent upon Him. Trust Him to surprise you in ways that will blow your mind.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.



Resources to help:
1. http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/1524-spirit/devotionals/by-love-transformed/8216-god-loves-to-surprise-us
2. http://odb.org/2008/05/15/surprise-me/

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Enjoy a CEENOTE Weekend Edition Days 26 & 27 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus: "LIFE IS FOR!"

What do you believe your life is for?

We start life off with great plans and dream of a life of great success. Not many of us sign up for a life of struggle and sacrifice. It's hard to understand why obstacles, failures and setbacks happen at all. But they do. Boy, do they ever. A harsh truth I've had to accept is that everything sucks, some of the time. Nothing is pleasurable or uplifting all of the time. So? A happier truth I've come to accept is that the reverse is also true, and this is where I like to focus and keep my happy thoughts centered on...nothing sucks all of the time. It all comes down to what sacrifices and struggles are you willing to endure to get past the inevitable rough patches of life? 

APPLICATION:  FIGHT!
1. Accomplishments do not come easy.  Resign yourself to this fact and this fight. Refuse to throw in the towel and settle for less. FIGHT! Affliction is a test. How bad do you want it? To achieve you have to keep a clear view of what you're fighting for. Make your dreams and life vision plain, and write it all down. Read and review it often. Hold onto an unconquerable resilience and ability to refocus, refocus, refocus. Remember...everything sucks, some of the time. And nothing sucks all of the time. So, suck it up buttercup. Put up your dukes. You'll take some blows but make sure you deliver some too. I am so blessed to have a man who's not only a supporter of my dreams, he inspires me to act on those dreams every single day. 

2. Delete Dream Thieves.  The fire of desire you burn with regarding the life you want and the dreams you have may face blatant opposition from the very friends and family you wide and starry eyed shared them with. It's harsh to realize those you wanted to support you very often will mock you, sabotage you and try to prevent you from achieving your dreams. Dream thieves work by placing obstacles of disapproval and discouragement in your way. The greatest tragedy of your life will not be if you don't achieve your dreams of success. No. The greatest tragedy will be if your achieving those dreams was stopped cold because you couldn't or wouldn't delete the dream thieves. Your desires and abilities were God-given. Dust them off. Begin again. Decide what your life is for and then manage that decision every single day. Your life was made for uncontrollable laughter, strange adventures and living your dreams. And that my friend, is a dazzling existence.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.

Resources to help:
1 http://purposedriven.com/books/pdlbook/
2.  http://www.christianbook.com/dream-thieves-overcoming-obstacles-fulfill-dreams/rick-      renner/9780977945931/pd/945931 

Day 25 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus -"HOW TO LOVE WELL"

Do you love well?

The number of books in any local book store on learning to love well are astounding! Face it, living a life that matters requires being open to loving and being loved well. Many of us long for deeper, more meaningful love in our lives. We want the highest level love that brings harmony and is spiritual, mental, emotional and physical. Sadly, not one of us has mastered the art of loving well. Loving well requires embracing the unlovely and imperfect. It requires vulnerability, mask removal and abandoning image management.


Application: RE-LEARN HOW TO LOVE

1. Each of us have barriers to bash within our hearts and minds in order to love another person well.  Those barriers may be pain, loss, jealousy and rejection. Bashing those barriers for good requires learning how to love in a way that pleases God.
2. To love others well, first love yourself well. The most powerful paragraph I have ever read about loving yourself well was: "Everyone's heard this self-help platitude: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. This may sound wise, but it misses a great truth; if we want to experience true intimacy, we need to be taught to love aspects of ourselves--again and again--by the people around us. As much as we want to control our own destiny, the humbling truth is that sometimes the only way to learn self-love is by being loved-precisely in the places where we feel most unsure and most tender. When that happens, we feel freedom and relief-and permission to love in a deeper way. No amount of positive self-talk can replicate this experience. It is a gift of intimacy, not of will-power.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.



Resources to help:
1. https://rickwarren.org/series/40-days-of-love
2. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17332564-how-to-love
3. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1398830.Love_and_Limerence

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©

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Day 24 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus -"GO TO LIFE"

Live like you're dying.

Because you are. Everyone alive will die, but few of us ever really, truly live. Sadly, far too many of us decide to really live only after near or impending death experiences. You must choose to truly live your life every moment you're breathing, rather than just existing from day to day. You alone have to make up you mind that a daily existence of waking up, getting dressed, going to work, working as little as possible during the work day, going home (after complaining about traffic, the weather, your boss and worse the fact you have to return home) and then repeating the process the next day is no way to truly live! 

Application: LIFE WON'T COME TO YOU SO GO TO IT!

 1. What stops you somewhere will stop you anywhere...please quit living your life constantly starting, stopping and being stuck. Get off the procrastination merry go round. Pick 3 things to do towards your dream life in the next 100 days of 2016. Make up your mind before you sleep tonight to change how you show up in the world tomorrow. Only you can do that you know? It won't magically  happen, it's up to you to make it so.  

2. Start Small, Grow Large. Too many of us start too much which is why we finish so little. No one can do all things. One of my first goals with any client is to get them to understand what they sow grows. Seeds are small and grow to be large. Aspire to begin any dream with just one step. Follow through completely before you begin another step. Commit just 90 minutes a day for 21 days to begin the new habit of doing something with your talents, improving your life and living your dreams. Begin today. 

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.

Resources to Help:

1. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4855.How_to_Live_on_24_Hours_a_Day

2. http://www.keepinspiring.me/how-to-live-life-to-the-fullest/

3. http://zenhabits.net/begin/

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©

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Day 23 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus -"SACRIFICE" Let's make every single day of 2016 ridiculously amazing!

Sacrifice. A despised word.

The act of sacrifice is so unpopular in modern culture. We do not like being uncomfortable or experiencing anything but pleasure and good times. We want what we want, exactly when we want it. Now! But, sacrifice is not necessarily the great suffering we portray it as...it's all in how you experience giving up something of value to you. That's where painful suffering comes in. Even our Savior and Lord GAVE up His life for us, NO ONE TOOK IT  (John 10:18) because He understood His power and authority to exchange a measly earthly life and physical body to bring eternal salvation to all mankind. Today I want you to tell yourself a different story about suffering.

1. Suffering is inevitable, misery is chosen. Accept a clearer meaning of sacrifice. Sacrifice is doing something you've never done to get something you've never had. It is as pleasant and happy an experience as you allow it to be. Period. To experience positive change in your life grasp that change won't happen by you it will happen to you regardless of if you recognize or accept the change or not. This recognition makes letting go and moving on so much easier. Embrace the positive or embrace misery. You choose.

2. Understand VALUE over COST. Value is not a number. Anything truly special or significant to you cannot be ascribed a cost. Every action, choice or decision has a cost, a loss of or exchange of opportunity. Change the focus from where/who/what you give up to what you will gain. Ascribe more value to what you gain and the affliction of giving up, changing or losing anything lessons.

Beloved I am praying with and for you.


Resources to help:
1. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/115279.Beauty_for_Ashes
2. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1677816.Who_Switched_Off_My_Brain_
3. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1769770.Better_Than_My_Dreams

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©

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Day 22 of our 40 Day Fast & Focus--"POSITIVE PERSPECTIVES"

“Your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you like yourself.” 

What is your perspective in life?

Perspective is the ability to stand back and see a situation in a wider context---the concepts and ideas that we use in our thinking and that inform our lives. If we have a wrong or flawed perspective being happy is extremely difficult. Sometimes it takes getting farther away from something to see it for what it really is. No one is always and forever anything. We all are former somethings. Not one person on this planet has a perfect life with no problems. The stark difference in satisfaction, fulfillment and living a quality life  all lies in how you chose to handle problems and how positive a perspective you choose to experience during this one life you have to live.


Application: SEE CLEARLY

1. Worrying is blurrying. Problems and negativity are sure to arise arise when we narrow our perspective and our mindset to one point of view. Especially if our thinking is "this always or every time this or that happens to me" type of thinking. Worry is exactly this type of thinking and needs to be avoided at all costs. Stop yourself from focusing on whatever may be going wrong and change your focus to what's going right. No matter what the situation is worrying about it will not improve or change it in any way. Instead, think about the situation and at least 3 good things that could arise from it. That is an immediate positive change that clears up a negative, blurry perspective.

2. Reactions and Mindset.  Seeking to control, manage other people and how they see or feel about you is futile. Work on your own reactions and mindset because you can never and will never control another! No two people see things the same, not even identical twins. We are born with our own unique ability to see, think, feel and believe. God Himself does not force us to see, feel and think His way, despite having the ability to do so. That's why I never want to close my mind to another's point of view until I hear it out and then weigh it against my own closely held beliefs and values. I am much happier in my life and interpersonal relationships now that I do this. I have learned I have control over me, and that I do best to respond, not react and keep a positive mindset no matter my circumstances. I see problems as challenges to be solved despite how tangled and twisted they may be. I master me and am perfectly ok with people being the masters of their own selves too.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.

Resources to help:

1. Memorize and recite daily this scripture:  Matthew 6:25-34
2. http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-15597/12-steps-to-stay-positive-in-a-negative-world.html
3. http://www.thehappinessfactor.com/

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©

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Day 21 of our 40 Day Fast & Focus--"BEGIN AGAIN"

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again. This time more intelligently."

Begin again.

You failed. It failed. You messed up. Again. Beloved, growing from wounds to wisdom requires that you refuse to let mistakes, defeat and failure become commentary on your worthiness. I have accepted this as fact: "whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you’ve been through, it’s never too late to begin again" and you should accept this too! 

Application: FRESH START

1. Refuse to speak from agony. Change your perception today. Right now. Stop your mind and mouth from anticipating the future. In the depths of defeat we anticipate that tomorrow will be like today and so will the next. Stop that loop of negativity right at it's source. Accept this, problems are never permanent. All situations change. It's up to you if the change is better or bitter. CHOOSE to begin yet again. 

2. Create a new relationship with your failings. I've heard it said that a failure is simply a success I don't like. Shine light in your darkness of pain. Refuse to let hurt freeze you in your tracks. Quit groping for answers about why this or that happened. Refuse disappointment because life hasn’t

turned out how you planned, and something didn't go as you expected. Acceptance is powerful . Acceptance alone releases you from being lost and unsure, in a cloud of loneliness, fear, boredom, uncertainty, worry, or despair. Right now, give yourself permission to begin again...decide what happened to you is merely the tuition paid for the lessons learned that will make you better and stronger than ever before.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.

Resources to help:

1. http://www.joycemeyer.org/promo/beginagain/index.aspx

2. Memorize and recite this scripture: Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

3. http://powertochange.com/discover/faith/beginagain/

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©

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Days 19 & 20 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus- "TRY NOT TO TRY"

Psalm 46:1 Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Try not to try.

There is an effortlessness in life that we should all aspire to. Cognitive scientist are only now beginning to understand the power of spontaneity and why it is so essential for our well being. When something is right, it truly is easier and much more effortless. In fact, Chinese philosophers wrote extensively about an effortless way of being in the world, which they called wu-wei (ooo-way). New research reveals what’s happening in the brain when we’re in a state of wu-wei—why it makes us happy and effective and trustworthy. Effortlessness requires shutting the mind off and allowing the body to do it's thing. It is very challenging to get the mind to let go of itself, and to stop trying, free fall into trust, be present and to know what comes goes, and what stays must be maintained. To cultivate behaviors and fruit bearing tendencies of wu-wei let go of the Western Culture ways of achieving goals through careful reasoning and conscious effort. Recent research suggests that many aspects of a satisfying life, like happiness and spontaneity, are best pursued indirectly. The older I get, the more I realize I do not want to spend the majority of my life preoccupied with effort, the importance of working, striving and trying, only to find the more I try hard to will things into manifesting, the more elusive they become. I'd rather let go of  any rigidity, cease over-planning life which has been proven to limit happiness and success. I prefer to live life relaxed and flexible, pursuing whatever interests me, and feeling confident that it will work out---and it generally has.

APPLICATION: TRY NOT TO TRY

1.  Practice “body thinking."  This is a tacit, fast, and semiautomatic behavior that flows from the unconscious with little or no conscious interference. Stop yourself from any and every effort requiring pushing harder or moving faster. Relax. Slow down. Stop (which means to cease all motion). Accept that sometimes effort and striving are profoundly counterproductive. 

2. Practice effortless action. This is not dull inaction. Quite the contrary. Wu-wei is "not trying" or "no doing." It's the state of mind of a person who's optimally active and effective. Practice living in a state of effortless action. You will feel as if you're doing nothing, while you are actually creating proper and effective conduct, harmonious order, brilliance and beauty. For a person in wu-wei, proper and effective conduct follows automatically as if the body gives in to the seductive rhythm of a song.  The body, the emotions, and the mind become integrated. Being in wu-wei is relaxing and enjoyable in a deeply rewarding way that distinguishes it from cruder or more mundane pleasures. It's a state of BE-ing. 

Beloved, I am effortlessly praying with and for you.

Resources to help:

1. http://www.utne.com/mind-and-body/the-art-of-wu-wei-ze0z1402zhou.aspx

2. http://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/221421/trying-not-to-try-by-edward-slingerland/9780770437633/

3. http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/how-i-stopped-striving-and-started-resting-in-him-11625482.html

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Day 18 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus- "HAVE SOME HUMOR."

How often do you laugh?

A sense of humor is good for you mentally and emotionally. Lacking a sense of humor and being super serious all the time is a gift blocker, and one I personally struggle with. I can be overly responsible and take on tasks with emotion lacking devotion. I will automaton and get her done without enjoying the tasks and/or people. I finally learned the vitality of not being so serious and laughing often. I now stop and make room for play and fun in my life daily. Studies also show a good sense of humor is sexually attractive, perhaps because it reveals intelligence, creativity, and other ‘good genes’ or ‘good parent’ traits.   Research shows that humor is an evolutionary enigma: people across cultures enjoy it with smiling, laughing, and mirth, and socially value those who produce it (Apte, 1985). Humor and laughter just makes you feel so incredible, and awesome that it's worth examining it's place and level of it in your life.

APPLICATION: Get Some Humor

1. Learn what amuses you!  Having fun is a powerful antidote to stress and it's a free one that costs you nothing while paying you richly. Sadly, few can clearly state what makes them happy and brings them joy. We must change that and clearly identify happiness and joy in our lives. Noted MD and Neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf states many studies prove Proverbs 17:22 is true. Laughter is "the best medicine." Studies show laughter releases a flood of feel-good chemicals that boost the immune system, reducing levels of stress hormones. She says a really good belly laugh can make cortisol (a harmful stress hormone) drop by 39%, adrenaline by 70% and it increases the "feel good hormone" endorphin by as much as 87%! Learn what works well for your body, soul and mind to quit being so serious and learn to laugh a lot and often--I learned to let loose and be my goofy, silly, nerd self...I like to swing on a play ground swing (proud I still fit), play games, dance to music, watch comedy and listen to comedy shows. All of these things work for me because I'm a horrid joke teller (I laugh too hard at the impending punch line goofy me lol) so I don't even try to (family and friends are grateful:). 

2. It's OK to be witty, even silly. Add play and humor/laughter as an item to your daily to do list. Look for the absurdity in your own circumstances. Humorists say the tragedy + time = comedy. My Mother demonstrated this so well as she faced impending death due to lung cancer. She kept a sense of humor that brought comfort...her laser beam wit was so appreciated by all who couldn't bear to see her suffer. I think often of the things she said that caused raucous laughter with doctors and family alike. Laughter is a demonstration of your superiority over unfavorable circumstances. Nothing can get you down...unless you let it. God created us to live balanced lives and not one person has it all good and not one person has it all bad. 

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.


Resources To Help:
1. http://drleaf.com/blog/toxic-seriousness-as-a-gift-blocker-have-some-fun/
2. http://lifehacker.com/how-to-develop-your-sense-of-humor-1690680308

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Arete1 International. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and ARETE1 International. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©

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Day 17 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus- "FORGIVENESS TO FORGETNESS"

Matthew 6:12-15

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Forgive yourself and forgive them.

Being unforgiving means you refuse or are reluctant to forgive someone. It means you are resentful, unmerciful and hold something against someone. Being unforgiving is mental, emotional and physical poison.  Unfortunately, unforgiveness is a poison every one of us sips from way too much and way too often, and it is slow leaking lethal. This poison is a mixture of bitterness which is anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly, outright anger and hostility which are strong feelings of annoyance and displeasure, hatred, resentment and fear. Being unforgiving means you live in a state of turmoil and stress--- which is now being found to be at the core of mental depression and health problems such as cancer and arthritis.In fact, scientist have now created a new diagnosis called PTED (post-traumatic embitterment disorder) to describe people who can't forgive others' transgressions against them. Doctors state "bitterness is a nasty solvent that erodes every good thing." This is why God commands us to truly forgive others prior to asking or obtaining forgiveness from Him! 

Many of us confuse forgiveness with forgetting or worse, we assume we've forgiven someone or something because whatever the offense was is over and done. Really forgiving something or someone is completely setting them free from the offense. You then get the offense away from you (casting it as far as east is from west), and out of you (don't replay it or repeat it ever again). 

Application: FORGIVE TO FORGET

1. Do not easily take up offense (Ecclesiastes 7:9). It should be the hardest thing in the world to get you offended or upset. Make your emotions like a fortified city against harm people may try to cause...some with evil intent, many quite innocently. Do you know that many times we get angry at someone's actions we incorrectly perceive as attacks, direct hits or attempts to hurt us when they don't even know or understand they're causing you harm? Rarely do people come directly at me with evil, so I've learned to pause and ponder something being said or done that I may not have all the facts or truth about their why before I add any emotion to the situation. I've learned the following is true, people are not necessarily against you, they're just for themselves. It has taken me years of practicing self control to avoid letting compliments go to my head or criticism enter my heart. I am often vilified for this behavior but as someone who's had a struggle with anger, I've learned not to go there. I won't let much get at me.

2. Forgive yourself.   Being unforgiving applies to not forgiving others AND not forgiving yourself. Many of us live life with feelings of deep and bitter anger, and ill-will, resentment so strong it justifies retaliation, we hold grudges and have a distasteful and distressing state of mind. We walk around ill tempered with an offensive disposition. This disposition shows up on our faces and in how we treat others. Learn to apply compassion, mercy and grace to your own self too. Quit beating yourself up, putting yourself down and dragging yourself down with guilt, shame and vain regret. Forgive yourself and you will find it easier to quickly forgive others, avoid or erase painful memories. Walk in love towards yourself and your fellow man...remember we're all fighting our own battles and remember LOVE NEVER FAILS!

Beloved, I forgive you completely AND I'm praying with and for you.


Resources to Help:
1. http://theforgivenessproject.com/
2. https://www.openbible.info/topics/offense
3. http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce-and-infidelity/forgiveness-and-restoration/forgiveness-what-it-is-and-what-it-isnt
4.http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/expert.q.a/mentalhealth/archive/

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr is written and distributed by Arete1 International. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Carr. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and ARETE1 International. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©

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Day 16 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus- TURN YOUR THOUGHTS, TURN YOUR EYES!

“Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from beginning to end.” Hebrews 12:2 
What has your FOCUS?

Whatever you focus on amplifies and grows. If you focus on your circumstances and your problems you will be distracted and disarmed, unable to fight or achieve because they will grow larger and insurmountable.  If you keep your focus on your circumstances and problems you will flame out morally, emotionally and financially.  Accept this---rarely are circumstances perfect, at best they're tolerable, and problems are never permanent due to the inevitability and reliability of change. That's the truth you must fix your thoughts and emotions upon in order to overcome, move forward and win in life. 

Application: TURN YOUR THOUGHTS, TURN YOUR EYES

1. Change the loop. This is an inside job. Whenever I coach myself or anyone in crisis and unfavorable circumstances or problems the first thing I have to get a hold of are the thoughts running through my/their mind. Focus goes where thoughts lead. Frequently, a discouraging loop of thoughts keeps repeatedly playing inside our minds that turns our focus downward.  To change the loop, stop the constant replay, and focus upward you must fill your mind with encouraging and inspirational thoughts such as the scriptures and quotes that counteract any negative. I recommend you write your encouragement and inspiration down (journal, post it notes or note cards) this engages all the senses and actually imprints the brain with an image to focus upon. 

2. Shut out anything or anyone that isn't pushing or pulling you away from the crisis and unfavorable circumstances.This is an outside job. You will have to stop talking about your circumstances and problems completely. Speak only of the solutions and progress made towards that solution. You may have to isolate yourself from certain individuals, TV, radio---anything that doesn't feed your new and improved thinking has to be completely stopped (cease all motion). This is very difficult and usually the point of departure for my clients and myself. When I say NO MORE it requires vigilance to stop that negativity that feels futile at first but grows stronger as I keep shutting out and telling myself the truth...circumstances are rarely perfect (accept it) and problems are never permanent (this too shall pass) one way or the other change will occur. It is an either or choice to be happy/joyful or depressed/no hope.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.

Resources To Help:

1. http://drleaf.com/about/toxic-thoughts/

2. http://rickwarren.org/devotional/english/the-power-to-change

3. http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Thinking-Reverend-Norman-Vincent/dp/8087888235

4. http://www.lifeway.com/Article/family-parenting-marriage-The-power-of-positive-speaking

5. http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-change-your-mind-and-your-life-by-using-affirmations/

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr is written and distributed by Arete1 International. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Carr. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and ARETE1 International. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©

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Day 15 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus- RISE & EXERCISE!

Do you exercise? Do you prefer exercising at morning or at night?

Not everyone is a morning person (I however am a completely, totally annoying lark), and even fewer of us are eager to wake up and hit the gym. But getting up and moving can actually be an amazing way to start your day. If you commit to working out first thing in the morning you're way less likely to have the excuse of things popping up. The odds are in your favor if you exercise.

Application: RISE AND EXERCISE

1. Quit saying "I am not a morning person." You have what you say and you rise or descend to what so ever thinking you place in your mind. Take the limits off of yourself by describing your self how you really are. You don't have to like getting up early, but you can LOVE THE BENEFITS like your crucial hormones that help build muscle mass are elevated in the morning, by exercising in the morning you're taking advantage of these naturally circulating hormones when they're peaking, rather than later in the day when they're lower.  
2. Pack accordingly and get in bed early. The most common aversion to getting up earlier is that we go to bed too late and we don't spend a small amount of time preparing for morning the night before. It is helpful to have the gym bag packed, the exercise clothes and shoes laid out, the playlist ready for listening and the protein shake already in the fridge ready to drink. This saves the unpleasantness of rushing and/or having to hunt for things when you have such limited time in the morning.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.

Resources To Help:

• http://www.livestrong.com/article/487221-what-are-the-benefits-of-early-morning-exercise/
• http://www.active.com/fitness/Articles/Morning_exercise_jump-starts_your_day
• http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitness_articles.asp?id=468

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr is written and distributed by Arete1 International. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Carr. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and ARETE1 International. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©

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Day 14 of our 40 Day Fast and Focus- BE A FOUNTAIN!

Psalm 36:9 For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.

Are you a fountain or a drain?
A drain depletes gradually, especially to the point of complete exhaustion. A fountain is the spring and head of a river; from thence waters issue and stream forth: it is the rise and beginning of springs and waters, and implies an abundance of water. Discovering if you're a fountain or a drain is an either or acceptance, requiring self-examination, confession and repentance IF you discover you indeed are a drain, which I believe we default to if we're not careful. It is very easy to live life unawares as a drain, a taker, a basket of need, constantly taking in, unrealistically expecting everyone to meet our needs perfectly. And, if we do give out, we expect...and even resort to demands of immediate, exactly as expected reciprocation. It takes inside work to stay add to, of benefit and willing to serve faithfully. 

APPLICATION: BECOME A FOUNTAIN!

1. A fountain first gives. Do you know real giving requires complete release and no expectation of return? A fountain first gives. Life as a fountain requires trusting that GOD sees and will restore, supply and repay. As a fountain you understand that everything runs through you not just to you. The beauty of being a fountain is that although you exist to be a source and supply to others you exist on what you give out. Being a fountain means you abundantly will receive what is needed to continue watering and replenishing others.  And, because a fountain freely gives of what it freely receives, there is no sorrow added to all that it has gotten being a free, flowing fountain. 

2. Resist a Scarcity Mindset. A scarcity mindset sees all as a threat to receipt. Scarcity affects our thinking and feeling dramatically and negatively. Scarcity orients the mind automatically and powerfully to unfulfilled needs. it demands unrealistic focus on that unfilled need to the exclusion of giving anything. It is all about getting, taking, decieving, and receiving only. A scarcity mindset causes you to believe you have to kill me to live. It has no interest in real reciprocation, because it refuses to give of anything that doesn't bring immediate benefit back to self. Fight a scarcity mindset with all that you have. It is a common mindset that causes you to live life only as a drain. Learn as I have, that the more you give the more God gives to you. You never have to worry about being replenished, you never worry about people taking from you or being used because you know what you're being used for. When your desire to give and method of giving aligns perfectly with what He has given to you to be a fountain in this world God personally sees to it that you get more fresh and new to give. It's His good pleasure to give the Kingdom to those giving the Kingdom (Luke 12:32) and it's an amazing way to live. You truly cannot ever exhaust God's giving. 

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.


Resources to Help:
1. http://www.success.com/article/john-c-maxwell-6-tips-to-develop-and-model-an-abundance-mindset
2. https://www.uschamberfoundation.org/bhq/embracing-abundance-mindset
3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/science-choice/201504/the-scarcity-mindset

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr is written and distributed by Arete1 International. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Carr. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and ARETE1 International. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©

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Weekend Edition (Days 12 & 13) of our 40 Day Fast and Focus- SOOTHING SILENCE!

Silence is better than meaningless words.

Silence is soothing. Yet, it is the one thing we avoid more than anything. We seem to need noise in this noisy world, either we create it by talking or "turn it on" somehow with music, television and social media. A few years ago with the popularity of the movie "Eat, Pray, Love" I began a ritual of  leaving enough space in my day to enjoy the space between the commotions. I will completely silence everything that is normally noisy (no music, tv, or conversations with anyone...no nothing), and am amazed at how much noise really goes on inside of me. I now crave complete silence and regularly practice times of no noise for entire weekends. Learn the deep wisdom of silence. It will astound you the peace and tranquility silence brings to your world.

APPLICATION: The Quieter, The Better.

1. Practice silence with yourself daily. The quieter you are the more you can actually hear. Self talk is very important to listen to. Do you know what you say about and to your self about yourself? What do you say to yourself about what is going on in your life, about who's in your life? We are constantly collecting outside data, hearing and assimilating stories about what it means to live a good life, change and improve ourselves. What we fail to realize and accept is that we have to practice hearing the voice of God to hone in on what is true, not just facts. I have learned God rarely shouts over my noisiness. He doesn't have to. He's God all by Himself. In my life He usually shows up disguised as normal everyday events in ourselves, not the neon sign, hand scroll writing in the sky miracles we seek. Learn that getting quiet will allow you to really hear.

2. Practice silence with others.  We all feel better when we're listened to. Do you know that as high as 90% of behavior problems with children are said to be because they feel no one hears them?  Do you know of any relationship in your life that wouldn't dramatically improve if we each learned to listen to one another better? Real communication is being understood, not just being able to string words together. Communication is a challenge for everyone,  but instead of getting frustrated over it, it is better to understand that we all have a different style of speaking, listening, and understanding. Allowing for others to speak their truth while you in complete silence listen for what is being said as well as what is being meant by what is said provides intimacy and quality many relationships lack. Do not listen to others merely to make your response. Whenever someone is speaking to you learn to be completely quiet and focused on them and what they're saying.

Beloved, I am praying with and for you.

Resources to Help:
1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-moment-youth/201312/the-importance-silence-in-noisy-world
2. http://rickwarren.org/devotional/english/3-keys-to-a-significant-quiet-time
3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-moment-youth/201312/the-importance-silence-in-noisy-world

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr is written and distributed by Arete1 International. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Carr. Copyright 2016 Cheryl Carr and ARETE1 International. 2016 rightwordsbycheryl©

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