Come Here Wounded Woman...

James 4:7-8 "So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet."

Proverbs 31:25 (NIV)- "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." 

We are many we wounded women. No need to discuss how we got this way, just pick up a magazine and you'll read well our dissatisfaction with every area of life...we're just not satisfied, fulfilled or getting what we need in any way. We're limping along in life, self-medicating, repeating the same pattern in relationships, work, how we eat...living life with a screen-door of pain over the entrance to our hearts. Come here. Sit down with me for a second. Let's cooperate with God. Aren't you tired of the tears in the night, the inability to change and the sad commentary that "you're crazy" because you are an emotionally crazed person constantly in a manic state, driving the people you love away or making them walk on egg shells...yes your pain is making you do the fool over and over and over again...or, are you like me, great at pretending, smiling, saying the right things until that scab is rubbed off of that wound that you keep hidden behind your pretty facade? Oh I know I'm in your business but I want to help you, help me, help us. We can be healed you know? And its not about time. Time doesn't always heal but GOD DOES! I've experienced most of my revelation of a wound and a cleaning up of the wound in short periods of time. I'll say it again, WE CAN BE HEALED. Completely restored and reset to an original starting point as a woman of strength and dignity.HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT IT? First you have to recognize your state and acknowledge it before God. CRY OUT and call it what it is. Quit faking. Quit pretending and putting a band-aid over your "pain cancer." We have to cooperate with God and want it more than that man, the food, the drink, the stability (changing causes chaos and disruption of everything) and looking like we're "spooky spiritual."  


We're wounded and we want to be healed. That requires desperation and obsession with getting it from God alone! Yes, when I teach this I'm told "Cheryl, it doesn't take all that" but I'm telling you depending how deep your wounds run (and mine were deep stronghold wounds), YES IT DOES TAKE A DESPERATE OBSESSION WITH GETTING HEALED. Haven't you been desperately and obsessively wounded? Just this week I was even told to quit ministering and giving out advice from someone I thought loved me and appreciated the transparency I shared my past/pain with them through--they even blocked me from their FB page (and it was perfectly fine because they were believing a lie, never read or commented on what I wrote anyway, no big loss). I've learned, the enemy of our souls wants me silent because every single one of my messages has been meticulously tried out on me FIRST before I share. They're real. I don't preach lofty, high things. I preach right here in the trenches, the muck/mire with you. I risk acceptance to be real and know the enemy will use even the very elect to try to stop me. There is no perfection in me to try and tell you anymore than this is what happened to me and here's how I deal.  No worries about me stopping no matter who tells me to. Won't happen. God has called me as His mouthpiece. I'm running the race, will speak as led with no fear. I can't be stopped in pain/silence, so I'm sitting right here, typing this blog in some of the greatest pain I've had in a long time. But...speak to you I will if you will but listen?

Because you can't love without vulnerability and trust-- wouldn't you enjoy some insulation, not self protection? Wouldn't you like that pain/hurt/wound to be a message you finally get/listen to and CHANGE FROM? It can happen only one way. Submit to God FIRST. Cry out to him in the midst of your pain. Quit running to a man. Quit running to that next relationship. Quit running to the club or a book (unless its the bible) or what someone else says or any of the things you've done to date that HAVEN'T WORKED. Yes, you may have salved your wound but wouldn't you much rather have the doggone thing healed? I'm not a Pollyanna either, I know there are some scars that will remain (you don't want to know my pain sister, we can compare burdens and I'm sure you'd look over mine and pick yours right back up again). Get alone. Get silent. Get on your face. Tell God all. Leave nothing out. He will listen to every word and you can't shock Him. He all ready knows. He gave you free will so that you can CHOOSE HIM. He desires that from you and then you know what...you'll be a wounded woman no more. 


Reach for God's reaching dear one. God is a master surgeon and His hands are gentle. It won't be easy but your healing will be thorough even if its a process. Sometimes God will lift what ails you immediately. Other times He will leave it and bring you through it. Whatever He does, however He does it its for the best and for your good. Submit to His way and listen, obey His instructions. As Max Lucado said it best..." God doesn't improve. He perfects. He doesn't enhance. He completes. Not better, not improving, not on the upswing" GOD COMPLETELY HEALS. Beloved, I'm praying with you and for you. 

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr is written and distributed by Arete1 International.

Fight Deception!

Luke: 21:8- He replied: "Watch out that you are not deceived. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am he,' and, 'The time is near.' Do not follow them."


James 1:16- "Don't be deceived, my dear brothers."




Pretension and deception, deceit, bluff, mystification, subterfuge, acts to propogate beliefs that are not true, or not the whole truth (as in half-truths or omission), employing slight of hand, distraction, camouflage or concealment.  Living like this...deceptively--is rampant in this world and few if any live above them. Lying and cheating is de jour...even in the Church which should not be but truth is its like breathing to us to be deceptive. You have to FIGHT IT, crying out to God to expose it in every shape and form because it is so prevelant and hides itself so well only HE can expose it fully.  


Personally, I have deceived and have been deceived. Horrified and hurt I've been when someone I trusted turned out not to be worthy of that trust and most of all I've terrorized myself with the comfort of lying to myself and others! If you're a deceiver rarely do you like the covers snatched off your cozy little deception..most do the fool when exposed, self included. The warmth of your lies are too toasty and fun and exciting and you feel you've gotten away with them. Alas, the truth of the matter is God hates lying! HATES IT! How can we be so comfortable with something God hates? Beloved this should not be. In fact, God commands us not to be deceived so you KNOW He never wants us to deceive anyone for any reason. He says in Ps. 51:6  "Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom." 


If you need to meet truth and abandon deception for good join me in praying for God to help you fight it in every area of your life. I warn you...this will make things bony and stark in all around you! God peels back every ounce of untruth and lays it bare and its ugly and no fun at all. There may be people you are trusting in that God shows you they're not honest and are not to have your trust and it will disappoint you to your core because how could they lie to you and have you believe it so completely?  He will more than likely start the process with you first and foremost so be prepared to see YOU. Real and raw. The first cut is the deepest and soon you will see all that you need to see. You may have to sit someone down you've deceived and come clean which is excruciating but, so worth it (yes, I've had to do that and had to LISTEN while someone I trusted gave up their lying). Just remember, GODS HANDS ARE GENTLE. He is the master surgeon and when he exposes deception in your life and in YOU He will also train you in truth and free you completely from lies for good. Do you want to go there? A place where you don't lie and can't be lied to? I said can't because since I've gone through this process of constant prayer to fight deception and lies rarely can someone get away with lying to me at all and never for long. If you're truthful and seeking to bring truth in every situation you have all of heaven supporting you because its rare but so needed. God will bring all of heaven to bear in bringing you the truth of a matter and it will be amazing to you to watch Him do it. If you desire to be blessed as far as I know the only great blessings from God, His very best blessings depend upon the level of truth you give and live. FIGHT DECEPTION BELOVED and He will help you do it every step of the way. He is ever faithful! I'm praying with and for you.

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr is written and distributed by Arete1 International.


(c) Copyright 2010 Cheryl Carr and ARETE1 International.

Enough is NOT LACK!

Hebrews 13:5 (The Message)

 ^5-6Don't be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you," we can boldly quote,

   God is there, ready to help;
   I'm fearless no matter what.
   Who or what can get to me?



What do you think you need today? Weigh that against what you have all ready. Is there a gap? How and why is it there? Relax Beloved. If you are a Believer, God will give you enough to meet your need. He promises that and you can believe He keeps His promises. All you have to do is to pray and submit your will and desires to His. Your peace is right there in that place of obedience.

I've found out quite often lately that what I think I need isn't what's truly needed at all and that enough is not lack. I'm learning my distress comes when I want more than what is needed or am discontent with what I all ready have. Let's decide to always express ourselves to our Father, He loves that we pray and desires for us to communicate with Him. But go that next step and cooperate with Him. Even if you are afraid you won't get what you desire, do it afraid. Submit and ask God for HIS BEST in spite of your expressed desire in prayer. He is ever faithful and will answer that prayer above and beyond what you could ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Beloved, I'm praying with and for you.

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr is written and distributed by Arete1 International.


(c) Copyright 2010 Cheryl Carr and ARETE1 International.

Have To versus Want To

Matt. 26:41-All of you must keep awake (give strict attention, be cautious and active) and watch and pray, that you may not come into temptation. The Sprit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak.

How many things do you do in life because you HAVE to? Weigh that against what you do because you WANT to. What’s the balance? Few of us give strict attention to the things we have to do with the same rigor we give to what we like. The problem with that is that things you like are easy. It’s the things you don’t like that take the extra commitment and that dreaded word—DISCIPLINE!  I’m finding in my life that I have to stop trying to fool myself into thinking I will want to do that particular thing  that needs doing...I probably never will. Thinking "I'll want to do that"  has not motivated me much because at least for me it is hard to pretend something is what it isn’t.  Being a tee-totaling realist, it’s hard for me to drum up that kind of self-deception. Generally, I’m intolerant of things that I don’t like (and people). Maturity has helped me to see that isn’t a good attitude. 

As there are few things in life that go exactly according to plan-- so is it that we will enjoy everything we do. Mostly we will need to do what we need to do and like very little of it in the process (sigh). Truth is, if we live our life only wanting to do exactly what we want to do at all times, well, we will be selfish and probably not real successful. That's also how sociopaths are created completely void of conscience or consideration for others!  Settling the fact that I can do few things well based on what I feel, or by what I think I want has brought me peace and actually helped me overcome a lot of procrastination. I bleat it out, add some energy and sweat equity and get it done regardless of how I feel about it or if I want to do it.(except for my closets and my dresser draws...I hired someone to do them for me and have been dumbstruck about them ever since...they stay a mess:). Developing that discipline has revolutionized my life, providing the ability to accomplish volumes of things. I don't necessarily think it, feel it,  I just DO IT and tell myself often "don't talk about it, be about it." I want to be a woman God can trust to do what He tells me to do---quick to obey so much so He knows if I get my marching orders I'm on the move without nary a need for Him to convince me or motivate me. Do you share that warrior attitude with me Beloved? People frequently sit and peer at the stage of others lives and accomplishments forgetting that behind the scenes was so much preparation and sacrifice and discipline. Its nothing super-duper special about people who are successful and living their dreams, few are exceptionally talented or smart either and we all have a lazy streak, trust me. You're just as able dear one, perhaps you're just not as willing to sacrifice and do what you must to get what you want? 

 It would behoove you to do a short survey of your life and how you dedicate your time. Are there things undone in your life?  Finish them and start by exercising some “have to” over “want to.” Quit waiting to want to do it. You may never get there but tell you what…do it, whatever that thing is fill in your own blank (____________) because you HAVE TO regardless of how you feel. I’m praying with and for you.

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr is written and distributed by Arete1 International.


(c) Copyright 2010 Cheryl Carr and ARETE1 International.

No Longer Negligent

Jer. 48:10 -"Cursed be the one who does the LORD'S work negligently, And cursed be the one who restrains his sword from blood."


Beloved, are you obese with ideas and plans and anorexic in action and follow through? How many unfinished works of the Lord are idling in your heart and mind? What needs to happen to you for you to finally get to it, go hard after something and get some things done? Did you read our focus scripture where God says YOU ARE CURSED IF YOU DO THE LORD'S WORK NEGLIGENTLY? Are you cursed because you're neglecting responsibilities and lacking concern about what you KNOW you should be doing but your attitude is lackadaisical and you'll get to it...eventually? 


Today, how about you stop thinking and talking about it and instead BE about it? You can you know? Refuse to live another minute of your life  "finna do" something while accomplishing just about the same thing everyday--which isn't very much. 99% of the time we KNOW what we're supposed to do we're just undisciplined and unwilling to get to it because we'd rather do our "want to's" instead of our "got to's."  Living like that is immature and makes you wasteful with time you can never get back. We all get the same 24 hours regardless of status, gender, intellect or wealth. The difference in quality of life is what will you do with your time? Focus and make quality choices with each and every moment you are given. Waste not one minute, never can you afford to. To focus, here is a lesson I learned over 18 years ago from Mike Murdock about being productive, he said "give each hour an assignment" and that is a lesson that has served me well all these years. Planning my day the night before and WRITING THINGS DOWN keeps me on task and works so well and isn't time consuming, its time saving! Realize, you can't do everything nor are you meant to, so making sure you're expending your energies in the right place is key. MAKE A DECISION. Being double-minded makes you unstable in all your ways (James 1:8).  Just coasting through your day with no plan will have you concluding your day in the same neglectful position. Dear heart, God plans (Jer. 29:11), why won't you?


And... whatever you do, do it with all your might (Ecclesiastes 9:10), no half stepping semi-committed attitudes, get IN or stay OUT. Chances are what the Lord has for you isn't going to come without a fight to get to it. You've got to be willing to go hard after it. Trust that God has work He has set in advance for you to do (Eph. 2:10). No one can do what you're meant to do the way you're meant to do it and that's why its vital you cooperate with God so you're not writing your own life story.  God can write a much better ending than you could with no stretch of His imagination. Decide right this minute to no longer be negligent...I'm praying with you and for you.

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr to friends and colleagues, but forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr is written and distributed by Arete1 International.


(c) Copyright 2010 Cheryl Carr and ARETE1 International.

His Presents or His Presence?

James 1:16-17 (New Living Translation)

 ¹⁶ So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens.^[a] He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.^[b]

Beloved, are you spending all your time praying, reading the bible, going to church so you get what you need and desire from God without a thought of what He desires from you? Are you a selfish taker or a grateful giver? Do you take in all the goodness of God, constantly whining for more-more-more from Him and never give anything back to Him in return? 

What exactly could God want from you? One word-OBEDIENCE. A direction of your will to please Him and not just yourself. He wants you to desire His presence way more than His presents. Don't get me wrong. He didn't make you not to enjoy pleasure and the things that He provided in this earth but as the Creator He alone knows best how things work so He put protection in His word and laws to keep you from harm. He desires that you pay careful attention to and obey those laws so that you're not hurt or destroyed. Violating them costs you a price He never intended you to pay.

The greatest thing about obedience to God is that it is only for your good! God doesn't need anything from us, He is omnipotent, omnipresent and fully contained. Alpha, Omega, beginning and the end, He's in yesterday today and tomorrow right now. Time doesn't constrain Him, He constrains time. He tells the sea and the mountains where to stay put and they obey because they have no choice in the matter. BUT, and here's where it just boggles the mind at His goodness...we humans have choice/free will and can disobey Him if we want to. We, His greatest design of all get to do as we please to our detriment or our delight. Isn't that awesome? He didn't create us as robots to do His bidding regardless of what we think/see/feel. WE GET A CHOICE IN THE MATTER WITH GOD! See...God delights in you. He loves you. He created you. He made plans for you even before you were formed and those plans were all and only for your good (Jer. 29:11). In those good plans He put in you a desire for Him because of His goodness. He knows how much you need Him even if you don't. His greatest plan for you is that you maintain close fellowship with Him so He can protect and sustain you. Isn't that good? Doesn't that make you change your mind from the drudgery of obedience/giving up your will and plans for yourself to the JOY OF OBEYING? If it doesn't, maybe your plans yourself have been so successful and fulfilling which is why you're hanging on to them. Personally, most of my plans for myself stank it up. I let go of them only and after I exhausted every effort trying to satisfy and make myself happy. Went down a lot of roads in search of my dreams and desires and each road was a dead end. Even when I got what I thought I wanted...it left me empty and wanting something more. Finally I found what I was searching for IN HIM not apart from HIM. He took me back in all my messiness. He loved me to changing my ways and my mind and my heart. And He changed my life. God was merciful to me even in the full throes of my consequences so accurately deserved because of my disobedience.  

Don't know where you are today. Only you know that and I know my God will not force Himself upon you but I do know He's pleading with you today to desire His presence way more than His presents. I'm praying with you and for you that you will do just that...DESIRE and OBEY HIM today.

Beware the Man Who Doesn't First GIVE!

Ephesians 5: 21-33: Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives,even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it;

Submission is often taught from this scripture and appropriately so but I truly believe and submit to you its as much about original intent, roles and giving as about submission.  We tend to focus giving on tangible things like money and time. Giving is as much an act with your heart as your body if you are a believer. God looks upon the heart because that is where your original intent or motivations lie and aren't necessarily a true depiction of what you're really doing despite the outward show. Because I am a woman I want to direct the main lesson in this area of giving to my sisters to ponder, but brothers reading this I hope its a matter you can take to heart as well. 

Beloved sisters, I beseech you to beware of the man who does not first give. What do I mean by this? I mean if you're on the giving end of your relationship, worn out, tired, absolutely parched from being drained dry emotionally, heart screaming out "just show me something" then you are in a backwards position and I want to tell you that thing is never going to work out without a major intervention from God and a man of God to show that brother the way (you can't dear sister, quit trying). He's selfish and will never give you what you need until his role is learned for you. Not talking about the how its done in your relationship--its not cookie-cutter theology I'm talking here, its independent on who the two of you are as people but the premise, the principal is still the same. From the inception of and in the continuation of a relationship, the man must give first and foremost! Period. He needs to take the lead in  pouring time, attention, care, adoration, finance and communication into you for you to respond to. Yes, you will reciprocate and not be a taker only-- please don't think I'm saying that. See, you my dear sister are not wired naturally and with original intent as a giver. You are wired and most natural as a RESPONDER. You're made to take in and give back/nurture a seed. You're made to AMPLIFY what a man gives in to you. If you're primarily on the giving end of a relationship, trying to make a man respond well, then you're batting your head up against a brick wall that's not going to move. This principal is a law and set in God's original intent as much as gravity and the pull to the earth is. I am telling you this with the hopes that you're not married to the non-giving selfish man,  (that's a whole different set of circumstances to teach about because I've been there and I know some things about it) hopefully...if you're simply dating and this describes the nature of your relationship may I please submit to you the eloquent and profound words from a Pastor and friend? RUN AT THE FIRST SIGN OF CRAZY because you my dear are in some craziness that's never going to truly work out. Yes, you may get this man to come back to your space, give you some time and some attention for brief interludes...heck, he may even marry you if that's the pressure you're putting on him gets him to respond that way (we women know how to manipulate and drive a man when we want to don't we?) but sweetheart, you're just headed down the road for even more rejection with that man. He won't change his stripes just because you trapped him with pressure, or a baby or whatever emotionally out of control stunts you pulled to get him to try and respond to your "love." You're in need of a mind change and a heart fix sisters. Realize that you're at your best in strength and dignity, examining a man, reserved in your emotions and behavior with him and letting him reveal if he's a giver and not selfish. This man is rare but he's out there. He just isn't attracted to a woman who wants him to respond. He can see you a mile away with your desperation and lack of knowledge. He won't give his precious things to a woman who doesn't deserve them.

 Let this sink in and heed its wisdom and warning. And, for my brothers...if you're the man who is responding to a woman who...oh, let's say has taken your seed (sperm) and given you a baby and is now giving you HELL in your life accept you've reaped what you sowed. You didn't first give self control, restraint and kept your seed from a woman you weren't married and in covenant with so there you go...you didn't get a wife you got a "baby momma" so quit waiting on her to act like she's got some sense until God intervenes. You sowed selfish and out of control emotional and physical acts and you're now reaping out of control physical and emotional acts.  You did it. She is just doing what she naturally does...respond in kind.

My deepest desire is restoration, healing and liberty for my sisters in pain, hurt and bondage. It is my hopes that as you read this you will examine whatever state you find yourself in. Get OUT of a relationship that is draining you, quit it. Stop (cease all motion) today. Staying in it is just going to deplete you, wear you out and will never give you what you deserve. If you're married to the non-giving selfish man (quite possibly because you pressured the marriage into being) begin by repentance and asking God to restore His original intent in your marriage. Be prepared to adapt your behavior too. You're used to leading and now you're going to have to submit to a man not used to being the head. Its a perplexing set of circumstances but God can and will do the impossible with a submitted heart desperate for change. Even if he doesn't change...YOU WILL. I'm praying with and for you.

Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Cheryl Carr is written and distributed by Arete1 International.


(c) Copyright 2010 Cheryl Carr and ARETE1 International.