KILL PRIDE!

1 John 2:15-17 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world -- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life -- is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.

PROVERBS 16:18-19 -Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.

PROVERBS 29:23  A man's pride will bring him low, but the humble in spirit will retain honor

 Pride is at the root of all sin. God hates pride in any shape, form or fashion. He even hates a prideful or haughty look.  In the Believers life pride is a serious matter and a formidable foe. One that you can’t fight, trying to lay it aside or hide it. You have to kill it. And, it has an amazing ability to resurrect and disguise itself. Its the houseguest who will not leave. Its always hanging out and around somewhere in your life. Few recognize its presence because it rarely shouts (we’ll see it then). It merely whispers “I am not here.”

 What is pride you ask? PRIDE IS FAITH IN YOUR SELF.  Pride is belief in your own ability to think, say, do whatsoever you will to do.  Pride is being arrogant: exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one's own worth or importance in overbearing manner arrogance: a feeling of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or presumptuous claims; inordinate self-esteem; conceit. Pride dresses beautifully but acts ugly. Pride thinks it’s better than anyone else.  Pride is very, very busy because it has to do everything itself, on its own because no one else can do things as well as pride can.  Pride is critical of others, judging the speck in their eye while dismissing or excusing the log in its own eye and making sure any fault or short-coming another may manifest is simply not possible, could never happen to them.  It doesn’t submit to authority, won’t listen to a word someone else says because after all, what do they know and how could they be right when Pride is never, ever wrong? All is someone else’s fault with Pride; it’s never the blame or cause for anything…its THEIR FAULT. Pride is just hard. Never tender. Nothing is precious to Pride. Nothing is sacred. Nothing is safe.

Pride lies and hides. Throws rocks and hides its hands. You will never see it to kill it. Hidden pride must be revealed by God Himself. He is quite capable of doing it in advance of having to humble you if you will ask Him for this. You must pray Psalm 139:24-“Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”  The path of everlasting life is parallel opposite to the prideful path. It is narrow and at times hard and full of suffering (Matthew 7:14-But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it).  To kill pride, ADMIT YOU HAVE IT (and you do). Refuse to believe in yourself over believing in GOD IN YOU. Trust Him, His word and His way as best. Pray about pride in your life often. Submit to God. Obey Him. That’s the only way to kill the insidious and ruinous enemy of Pride. Beloved, I am praying with you and for you.

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You Are Not Ruth

2^nd Timothy 2:15-Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.

Ruth 1:16-But Ruth replied, "Don't ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.

More than a few women are waiting on a Boaz, sitting and daydreaming of the man God will send and the love and protection that He will provide.  Here’s the rub…God never promised you a Boaz. He gave a Boaz to Ruth because she was prepared for him specifically.

 I get the sentiment behind the desire (I am a single woman desirous of marriage too) but we’re as off on this whole mindset as we are with “Jesus is my husband.” It’s a mindset wise women must resist and  get rid of and instead study the book of Ruth in context. Study it and examine what made Ruth a woman prepared to be wife to Boaz. Read the entire book of Ruth and you will see that Ruth:

• Had a  loving and kind servant’s heart and was living a submitted life to lawful authority.
• She did not leave her responsibilities when things got rough.
• She did as guided experience told her to not as she wanted/thought.
• She had a loving, kind personality and expressed herself with respect.
• She worked hard on her own, needing no motivation save her love for her mother-in-law.

Is that you “waiting on Boaz” woman? Examine your life today. Are you able to be rescued and then add to not subtract from a Boaz?  Look at the man Boaz was. Read about him and you will see:

• He was a business man, on assignment and BUSY.
• He knew what to do and what was right by law, was and could exercise lawful authority.
• He told Ruth what to do from the minute she was presented to him.
• He took time to consider the right way to bring her into his life and cover her.
• He respected her and did not take anything from her, he gave.

In studying the word it’s easy to take from it what appeals to our comfort and leave all that other stuff alone. Few desire delayed gratification, discipline, submission, humility and WORK. We want it easy breezy and that’s why so many of us lack peace and fulfillment in life. We take things out of context and build an entire theology around that which is what we want, set not promised expectations on God and get disappointed when He doesn't do as we want, praying despicable prayers to Him that He does not hear nor answer--- if we’re not careful. Not studying and desiring proper application and knowledge of what God's word is saying to YOU personally will make you guilty of not “correctly explaining the word of truth.” To fulfill your desire for a mate/marriage you must be the person the person you hope to attract is attracted to.  You must be prepared and that won’t happen automatically. Get and submit yourself before God and learn the lessons of Ruth in its totality. No longer settle for or parrot the “Boaz for Me” theology.  It’s putting you in a daydream that's not real...which may be why you’re disappointed in God and daydreaming instead of living life as He really has promised you. Beloved, I’m praying with and for you.

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I See Beauty

Isaiah 61:3
..and provide for those who grieve in Zion--to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

John 8:36
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

Isaiah 50:4
The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.


I see beauty
Within not without
Beyond physical
Attributable
Internal
Eternal
Beyond
Irrespective of presentation
Covered, stained, thick -skinned, in pain
Bound, imprisoned,without liberty
He wounded me skillfully
Using me
Trained humane eyes
TO SEE
A display of His splendor
Hidden beneath
Weight, care, despair
I see beauty
Possibility
I see you
FREE


RightwordsbyCheryl


(c) Copyright 2011 Cheryl Carr and
ARETE1 International. Reproduction in any form, Any use of materials
including reproduction, modification, ... or republication, without the prior written consent of Cheryl L. Carr, is strictly prohibited.


Cheryl
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Flee to Be Free!

2 Tim. 2:22- Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.

Proverbs 6:5- Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler.

Romans 8:6- For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace"

How free are you? By free I mean “having personal rights and liberty; not enslaved, not imprisoned, not restricted, independent, spontaneous, not busy, not used, not obstructed, not containing, not fastened, without obligations, not costing any money, lavish, frank, fiving a general idea; not literal, informal, not combined with any other foreign or chemical substance.” Are you that free?

If questioned and the truth was revealed, could you say your daily activities (thoughts/words/deeds) inhibit or free you? Master you? Call and compel you and you come every time? Are you mobile, agile in life or are you encumbered about with many things as Jesus described Martha (Luke 10:40)? The truth is many of us are parked in the past waiting on God to move us, to transition us forward. He’s waiting on us to cooperate with Him and free ourselves from what we know isn’t good for us but we still persist in doing. A lot.  Beloved, self-control mixed with love equals FREEDOM WITHOUT LICENSE. You can personify 1 Corinthians 6:12   "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything.” But you’ve got to know what to flee from and run to and that requires knowing what has the potential to pull you to excess. It can be obvious or hidden. Pray about that. What's your 'pull or bent' that makes you want to over-indulge? That's what you may have to flee to remain free.

The saddest state known to man is the perceived freedom that isn’t but they've made themselves believe it to be so.  Deception about your true state occurs when you’ve disobeyed so long you’re insensitive to what you’re really doing to yourself, its such a looming presence in your life you can't make a decision about it to benefit yourself. IT/THEY are the boss of you and run you.  You’re stuck as if in quicksand and eventually you’ll go under/reach crisis. Doing whatever you want, however you want, with whomever you want isn’t freedom or pleasure, at least not real freedom/pleasure that won’t leave a mark when you’re done with it. Being unrestrained, knowing the cost of something and not its value is immaturity and to make yourself truly free (unfasten, disentangle, relieve, make available, release) question and FLEE (Run away from a place or situation of danger) RUN (move at a speed faster than a walk, never having both or all the feet on the ground at the same time) from anything or anyone that makes you weak-willed. If you just have to do it, you're not free, you're bound and running in place. To move/go forward you have to get from where you are to where you should be by LEAVING. You have to flee HERE to GET THERE. Beloved, I'm praying with and for you.

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How to Love?

Proverbs 18:24- A man with friends is to show himself friendly, And there is a lover adhering more than a brother.

1 Corinthians 13:11- When I was a child, I talked like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

There is a popular song by a hip-hop artist playing incessantly on the airwaves today called “How to Love.” Its popularity and its question made me think and question myself  because the lyrics in the song are haunting and sadly true,but,offer no guidance, no solid information on how to love, it just states the object of the song doesn’t know how to love herself or a man. Have you ever asked yourself that question…do I know how to love someone intimately (this is not a question about your children or family)? To you, what is love? Your answer to that question will define the kind of relationships you find yourself in. The problem is few have a research and data driven answer to that question as if acquiring that information taints the feeling of it and that feelings based love is all there is--laughable to me, loving from logic first actually will  strengthen/deepen the feelings that follow, while vice-versa doesn’t and frequently leads to deception.

When asked what is love most will offer you a feeling based answer or parrot a philosophy they heard preached or taught somewhere—saying the words (philia, eros, storge, thelema & agape) without knowing their true meanings for themselves.  I am a firm believer that if you allow someone to define something for you and passively accept information you will live without authenticity until a crisis shakes you out of your unawares. Nothing is more devastating emotionally than discovering what you thought was…isn’t. Sadly, that is the state most of us find ourselves in before we really start to question our feelings and the people we feel for. We skillfully wound ourselves, unconsciously incompetent at best, consciously incompetent at worst. Refusing to accept to love well is a learned skill dependent upon the two individuals choosing to enter that state and that you CHOOSE what you let into your feelings gate—good or bad. No one can MAKE you feel anything, not chemistry, not lust, not their great body, their fat bank account, or your shared passions. You get to direct your will to like, love, share time with a person. You choose. Feelings don’t force you to ---even if you say to yourself “but, I can’t help it, I love him/her” (makes me cringe and is an immature cop-out J). Stop it. Your body is not doing a thing against your initiation despite what it feels like. You have to make a conscious effort to see, talk, listen to, touch, have sex, and feel for a person! You feel like you’re on autopilot because of the powerful hormones at work on your brain that you cracked open getting into an illicit relationship with them…but that’s not an excuse either. You can right those hormones but its going to HURT… learn to always question anything/anyone that makes you feel weak-willed from the start, that’s not love you’re feeling—that’s a chemical imbalance that will dictate what you do if you let it. It’s wise to stay away from things/people you can’t control yourself around. Once you’ve gotten there though you will have to discipline yourself and suffer through withdrawals, the pain none of us wants to experience (heartbreak), yet that pain is a messenger and a great teacher if you grasp the lesson it will teach you well that the desire is not worth the discipline for the next time. Be wise. Look deep BEFORE you leap. Save yourself some grief.

Is there a better way to choose to love then? That is the right question to ask then answer FOR YOUR SELF. Few of us have had healthy relationships modeled for us to guide us. Fortunately, God Himself gives us guidance and then allows us to meet, make up our minds about someone as a love interest or not. His way is very simple actually and He created us to be in healthy relationships although so few of us are. We have to be willing to BE in a relationship to GET into one. Relationships are not wandering around looking for people to force into them. Isn’t that great? See, you don’t have to if you don’t want to! Nor will you die if you stay out of intimate relationships. In fact, I encourage you to. See how long you can go without being with the opposite sex beyond work/church. Inability to do so is an indication you’re probably being led around by feelings and desperation. Commit to a minimum 8 week period of no dating, texting, calling. Especially no contact or double backs with your ex.  Learn this fact-- if someone doesn’t want you; you don’t have to want them either. You can stop feeling that way about them if you choose to because God gives you a strong and powerful thing…your will and mind …it’s just you’ve shut them off preferring feelings and have to learn again how to control yourself and that Good-bye is a necessary life skill. Learn and practice it as needed!

Personally I don't think relationships should be as hard as we make them. Knowing as much as possible about a person before you commit feelings to them is wise. It’s not a time thing either…telling someone to wait 90 days as a rule of thumb before getting into a relationship is silly to me. I can make my mind up in as few as a couple of conversations/days. My litmus test is prayer—I pray for God to show me who this person really is and He does, putting me and that person in situations that expose things in ways that I know it’s Him answering my prayer. I get to see how this person responds to things and answer the question of at least on the surface do we share the same things that are important to me like integrity, can they make me laugh, do they consistently treat me well (people can act nice only for so long…how do they treat you when things aren’t nice?), can I trust them (trustworthy people do trustworthy things),  are they good parents (I don’t have children but welcome being a stepmom); do they put in time, attention and consistently put our relationship over their individual needs? Those are the things Cheryl’s learned she needs to feel loved and to love in return. Without those key things for me, I just won't allow myself to feel more than love for you as a friend. I have learned every male friend I have is not a romantic interest for me. I will remain single until a man demonstrates and inspires all of those things to me and in me consistently and in that I am content because I don’t want A RELATIONSHIP I want the RIGHT RELATIONSHIP for me and the person I’m in it with.

 Beloved, you were created for relationship and thrive best in right relationships not just a relationship (Ecclesiastes 4:10-11). Our awesome God gave us the ability to direct our will towards it or away from it, He did that even in choosing or not choosing to be in relationship with Him. God is into free will. He created it and gave it as a gift to His creation made in His image. Learning to love from your free will and not your emotions and just feelings is wise and necessary.  I am praying with you and for you.

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Say Enough, Not Too Much!

Proverbs 10:19-Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.

James 3:2- We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

James 4:17- So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

I’ve stopped talking very much. I’ve stopped talking to certain people because in talking to them controlling my tongue was too difficult because of our developed long term habits & style of communicating. See, three years ago God began to deal with me about my tongue in a powerful way. I am called as a mouthpiece for Him but because of not practicing self-control with my tongue, I was just a mouthpiece. I was a fool with my mouth and talked too much (see Proverbs 18:2). I was selfish, arrogant, not a good listener and that didn’t work for Him for my life assignment He’d given me and I had to change.

 Breaking my habit of talking too much has been difficult, excruciating in fact. I love to talk to people and have strong opinions about life and like to be right. Being research and data driven it is hard for me to not speak about what I’ve learned, read and confirmed. God gifted me with creative communication skills and sadly I was using that gift to MY OWN GLORY and God took it back. He confined me, I began to have extreme difficulty communicating at all, and He led people into my life that confronted me about my talking too much and drove people away that I cared about because of my tongue. It didn’t become clear to me that God was breaking my talkativeness until I found a book called “Thirty Days to Control Your Tongue” by Deborah Pegasus (I highly recommend it as a great devotional). Trust that it was not a study I wanted to undertake but was compelled to by the difficult circumstances in my life so I took it on and it changed my heart about my use of my tongue. I began to practice silence---going days and sometimes weeks without sound unless it was absolutely necessary (living alone & being unemployed helped tremendously, I had no one to talk to without making an effort to do so). I began truly listening to people when I was around them (I found out most people talk too much using words profusely with no real grasp on what they’re really hearing or saying or the meaning of their words—that’s my honest opinion). Listening to people now I was not just hearing them so I could say what I wanted to say from my heart I NOW HEARD THEM, completely tuned in to what they were saying. It has been life altering learning to control my tongue and because God’s word is true I proved James 3:2 well and other areas of my life became easier to control too. In fact when something is out of whack in my life I begin first with how I’m using my tongue. It is the impetus for so much in life which is why it is abused so much in the world. Not just talking too much but not saying the right things/evil communication is rampant in society and destroying many of us with our full cooperation.

 I’ve also discovered one of the most difficult areas for me in controlling my tongue is the same as that of many women and that is in relationship with men—it is here that I have to be vigilant and methodical not just in how I talk to a man, but also controlling my emotions and my tendency to want to spill my heart too much/too soon. Most men are not over-communicative; their problem usually lies in not saying the right things/being non-communicative and we women tend to err on the side of talking too much/giving every single detail and recalling every single wrong ad nauseam. Many men are tormented by a contentious woman in their home and women we would do well to read and memorize Proverbs 21:19 (It's better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife) and Proverbs 14:1 (A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands). Here is a truth many men do not want to accept though…if you have an out of control over-communicative woman the greatest burden is yours to let God use you to free her from that and lead her in effective communication. Too many men who tout their leadership in every area waive this one being a peacekeeper instead of a peace maker in order to have silence. Jesus did not say peacekeepers are blessed he said peacemakers are blessed. Sometimes peace comes with confronting something and calling it what it is and enduring the consequences as opposed to stuffing the strife. Men, don’t lack understanding this key fact ---women are naturally wired as receivers and will reproduce after the seed given to them by a man…if you sow non-communication you will reap a woman out of control talking in excess to get you to communicate. Lead her in communicating, listening to her and responding to her in a way that lets her know she’s heard and if a woman is not emotionally unbalanced with deeper issues that will require deeper healing, she will calm down and you will get the silence you crave. In other words, men if the woman in your life talks too much I submit to you that YOU NEED TO TALK TO HER MORE! Try that instead of being mute and moot with her conversation. It will work guaranteed and all it takes is your leadership and listening to reap the fruit of her silence. Worth the investment!  Women, we need male leadership in this area and the good counsel of an older, godly woman to learn to shut our mouths and not drive our men and children away which far too many of us are doing to our detriment. Again, read Proverbs 21:19!

Silence is not only golden it’s crucial if you want to be effective in communication. You can’t listen if your mouth is always in motion. Talking is necessary, just not in excess. Practice saying enough, never too much and let your mouth become a wellspring of life keeping you out of an ocean of trouble. Beloved I’m praying with and for you!

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Living a Dazzling Existence Requires Attention!

3 John 1:2- "Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well."

Deuteronomy 30: 19 "...Oh, that you would choose life."

Several years ago I lived under the impression that to be a good Christian required somber, serious perfection. Living religious meant living as if I were in a glass case and could see all the beauty and wonder of the world but couldn't touch it or enjoy it.  I was like that in business too...workaholic always striving for the next move/what would bring me the money and status I desired. I was so unhappy and yet from the outside it looked good because I made sure everyone (including God) knew I was serious about things and getting it done, no time for fun! I mean, what would God think if I showed even a hint of "loving the world" instead of existing and pining away for heaven? Well, several life crisis and a bad business deal that I'd worked myself into distraction trying to make happen left me sidelined and miserable and no amount of prayer, fasting, reading my bible helped. There, I said it. I couldn't muster up a care for God or my spiritual disciplines of reading the bible an hour, praying 30 minutes and memorizing a scripture quoting it throughout the day. Yes, I was that rigid! Laugh all you want. That's just my unsubdued T-total personality.

During this dark valley experience  on a particularly sunny, clear Kansas day I went for a walk along a trail close to my house and while lamenting in my head about the drudgery of life, I looked over and saw a little girl swinging and laughing. Gazing at her with great longing, I remembered as a little girl swinging and gazing at the sky made me the happiest. The motivation to get on a swing overtook me (I'm a little bit so I could still fit) and so I did. I got my miserable behind on a swing and I just swung my little heart out and guess what? God cut through my mess and ministered to me right there in that playful moment. In my heart I heard Him speak Ephesians 3:20 to my mind in this way "Cheryl, you're not living you're just existing. If you let me lead your life you will live a dazzling existence but it will require attention-- to Me/My ways not yourself/ways." It was in that moment that I got it. God wants me to enjoy this life as long as I'm alive and doesn't mind me having a good time. He didn't want me miserable and perfect. He wanted me obedient and believing. My actions were not what pleased Him. My faith did. Just knowing/accepting that and I was renewed, back in balance and never did I want to go back to that religious nut who was of no benefit to any one. Who'd want to sign up for the type of Christian life I was living? Nobody and truth is, I didn't witness much either. Now that I'm open to living, having fun in meaningful ways that for me include nature, sports/activities and writing/reading...people are drawn to me in the oddest of ways pretty much everywhere I go (especially Wal-Mart, I call it Wal-Mart Ministries because I'm always picking up deodorant and somebody talks to me-- LOL). Its like a moth to a flame and no beating over the head with scripture driving them into the kingdom...we just talk and share life experiences and frequently I'm asked the reason for my hope and happy disposition. I can then tell them about Christ.

Look, all I'm saying is don't think of having fun as choosing between wanton worldliness/partying and serious somber sitting of pews in church every time the doors crack open. I've accepted this truth, I am a spiritual being who lives in a body (flesh) with a soul (mind, will, emotions) that God created this way for a reason and He wants me to primarily live in attendance to my spirit but has no problem with my flesh and my soul being well too! There is a balance to living that if you're an extremist like me you will struggle to find. You will have to spend some time to get some self-awareness of what makes you joyful and happy (prayerfully its not drinking,drugs, sex...those are dead end sins that are temporary pleasures with great long term costs). Let loose and enjoy those things fully without shame. God wants you to live a dazzling existence as long as you're in this earth suit marking more than time, its my belief He wants you in close relationship with Him receiving all life has to offer as long as you're His. Beloved, I'm praying with and for you.



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