Feeling Emotions, Controlling Feelings

As we approach Holiday Season 2017 complete with public travel, family gatherings, malls and shopping we will encounter a multitude of emotional triggers that will attempt to dictate a feelings response.  Prayerfully you know emotions and feelings are not the same?  Emotions and feelings are highly interconnected but are two very different things.  Without getting all neuroscience, technical blah blah blah here is what you should know: according to experts emotions are coded in our genes, are universally similar across all humans and even other species. Emotions trigger neurotransmitters that are essential for memory consolidation which is why an emotional memory is stronger and lasts longer. Emotions produce feelings, are physical and instinctual. Emotions can be measured  objectively by blood flow, brain activity, body language and facial micro-expressions.

Feelings are subjective, they are based on your personal mental portrayal of what's going on by personal experience, belief and memories. Feelings start with the brain perceiving and assigning meaning to an emotion. Feelings cannot be measured accurately and I submit to you while you can not necessarily control your emotions you can definitely control how you feel about that emotion which means you are able to cognitively control how you respond to the emotion and how you behave from the emotion provoked. Holidays and being around people you may have selected not to be around throughout the year, financial strain, partying and drinking alcohol to excess, overeating,  as well as  feelings of loneliness are all triggers for not great feelings or behaviors acted out publicly and inflicted upon the innocent. That's why you should arm yourself with knowledge to help you in being your best self no matter what is going on around you.

Frequently we submit to our feelings without regard to our emotional state. It is a much better practice to assume any feelings you have are not accurate or trustworthy until  you do a careful examination of the emotion behind it. Why do this? Because your feelings in a particular situation could be completely above and beyond the emotion that is deep within causing you to feel some kind of way...you could bring to bear anger at a person years away from whatever happened and is consolidated in your memory, which has you acting out from there instead of what is current. In your encounters with people use the power of pause and silence. Offer grace. And mercy and know...you may feel what you feel but not every feeling requires expression. This very small act may help you show up in the world as you desire  during the holidays (peaceful, loving, joyful, enjoying the moments) versus the reoccurring lack of the mutually beneficial emotions listed (anger, no forgiveness, grudges and pain).

Meet the public, family and travel armed with this knowledge...not every emotion requires a feelings response. It is your choice how you feel no matter what.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving full of love and gratitude. Beloved, I am praying with and for you.

Resources to help:
1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/life-without-anxiety/201212/10-tips-surviving-the-holidays
2. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-tsilimparis/6-essential-tips-for-surv_b_6116234.html
3. https://www.abqjournal.com/1096198/surviving-the-holidays-after-a-tragic-loss.html


Schedule a session with me: https://calendly.com/dr-cheryl


Buy a 2018 planner that helps you feel how you want to feel: http://www.daniellelaporte.com/store/?dlap=61599


Join my Desire Map Meetup Group and learn your core desired feelings: https://www.meetup.com/Desire-Map-GOAL-MEET-Not-GOAL-SET/



 Please feel free to forward CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl Lanier to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. CEENOTES with Dr. Cheryl Lanier is written and distributed by Dr-Cheryl.com. No portion of this publication may be copied or reproduced without the expressed written consent of Cheryl L. Lanier. Copyright 2017 Cheryl Carr and Dr.Cheryl Lanier. 2017rightwordsbycheryl©. Follow me on LinkedIn :www.linkedin.com/in/cherylcarr2014; Facebook : Dr-Cheryl; Twitter: iamdrcheryllanier and Dr-Cheryl; Instagram-iamdrcheryllanier.